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A pseudo intelligent person who finds it necessary to steal song lyrics and famous quotes to elicit a reaction from their audience or to appear to be deeply thoughtful or philosophical. These people will usually accomplish their goals by receiving feedback or "Likes" from the uninformed when they indeed haven't earned them, only egging them on to further post BS. For the large majority of the population, they just appear to be retards.
Joe: "Leticia, I really like your post today! I found it so inspiring when you said, 'All you need is love, love. Love is all you need.' That is so true."
Leticia: "Yeah, just a little something I came up with.
Chris: "Leticia! Who are you kidding?!? Will you please post something by Led Zeppelin tomorrow? I sure could use some Stairway to Heaven inspiration. Damn, Facebook Philosopher."
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Believing that you can figure out complex things that you couldn't when you're sober. Very mental, and deep about everything, very creative thinkers while high.
creative stoner philosophical stoner
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when people, especially girls, have cliche or overly obvious quotes on their facebook statuses related to life or love. usually results in an embarrassing understanding of the poster's intellect...
facebook status - "dont go looking for love, because true love will come and find you when you're least expecting it"
reader of facebook message - "this stupid bitch and her stupid 3rd grade facebook philosophizing is making me want to commit suicide
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String of ideas or "facts" about the reasons behind life, religion, the human thought process, or the condition of humanity. Usually the product of intellectual masterbation. Usually occurs in bulk in "higher learning" classes such as psychology, sociology, government, or debate clubs. Should be realized that the thoughts and ideas generated with these classes are extremely unoriginal, despite how excited the student might be to stumble across an idea they think answers some social injustice.
Also, an approach to school related projects in class such as those listed above along with persausive essays. The idea behind this approach is to eat up word count or time requirements by filling the project with philosophical ideas and opinions that are unable to be proven. Also this approach has the added delusion that you are speaking intellegently about ideas that are important or will have some impact on society. Should be noted that it's not important, and will have no effect other than giving your proffesor a boner.
"Jacob's project in in sociology was about the way in which government interference prevents the course of social darwinism. It was really 10 minutes of him covering everyone with a giant load of his Phiosophical Ejaculation."
"After a session of intellectual masterbation about eugenics, Mr.Dillem and Mr.Arschol acheived simotaneous philosophical ejaculation, resulting in both of them believing that stupidity is a mental condition that is genetic."
"Human behavior theorums are pure philosophical ejaculation. You can't predict how people will act, which makes it unsurprising that the stock market failed. They pay people to produce math formulas so that they can blind side idiots into buying imaginary crap such as sub-prime mortgages."
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An individual whose Facebook statuses are often chiched quotes such as "when in doubt, just take the next small step", "make peace with the past so it doesn't screw up the present", or "sometimes its hard to understand, but time tells truth." These give the impression that said Facebook user is wise, when in fact they are merely putting on airs.
A: "Wow, Jeff is pretty deep!"
B: "Nah, he's just a Facebook Philosopher"
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Thirsty for philosophers, commonly Aristotle
Zach: Taylor thinks Aristotle has beautiful eyes?
Molly: Yea he has a philosopher kink.
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An individual who starts a typical day at 12:30pm to 1pm, and before doing anything they rip from a bong. Many are men in their late teens to early 20s living at their parents house (without any desire to leave) and if they aren't taking college classes online they are taking a gap year (or three) before deciding to sack-up and go to college where they would have to socialize. They are most commonly known to smoke weed ALL day watching their favorite animated shows in the basement and only having enough money to make a run to Taco Bell or some other grease trap. The typical couch philosopher doesn't have a car and just walks everywhere or bums rides... if they do have a car the oil hasn't been changed for about 5 years. Their favorite activity is to sit on the couch all day coming up with as many reasons why weed is the best thing in the world, how society should just smoke up 24/7, how they love licking liberal taint, and how cigarettes are so much worse for you. What they don't realize is that weed made them an apathetic fuck....A "Couch Philosopher"
Person 1- Why don't you like going to Dave's house?
Person 2- I actually wanna do something with my life and I feel like his laziness is going to rub off on me...plus i don't wanna hear those couch philosophers lecture me on the advantages of weed all day and why i shouldn't smoke my cigs.
Person 1- Shit.... your right, Daves going nowhere in life
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