swimmer slap

When you bust a nut in your hand then slap the hoe

Hey wanna take part in a good swimmer slap

condom swimmer

A small penis. A penis that effectively swims in a condom often designed for average but not NORMAL sized hard-ons
A penis slightly larger than the actual condom swimmers - the sperm cells.

Scott: "Hey Bill, did you see Max in the shower, I couldn't help be notice, he was washing his cock, I thought it was his fucking baby finger...I nearly exploded laughing...what can you do with that little stub?!"
Bill: "Yea I know, the guy acts and talks like he is the end-all and be-all for women when in fact he is packing a fucking condom swimmer!"

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River Swimmer

A sexual position involving 1 male and 7 females. The male is using both hands to finger 2 of the girls, he is using his two big toes to pleasure 2 other females, there is a female sitting on his face, a female on his dick, and a female giving him a rimjob. There is an optional 8th female to poop on the group and do a Cleveland Steamroll.

Dirty Man Whore: "Man those sorority chicks really know how to get down, I did a river swimmer last night!"

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Swimmers Ear

When the male sexual partner pulls out just before ejaculation,in the old english school boy style, and proceeds to release his ejaculate wildly onto his female partners facial region. A sample of his load then seeps into her auditory member,left or right, and causing symptoms that would be diagnosed as swimmers ear.

Male: "hey babe is that hair gel in your ear?"
Female: "No, but I think i showered to long because my ear is killing me! I think I may have gotten Swimmers ear."

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Mexican Swimmer

A floating turd. Also known as a floater.

"Dude, some nasty bastard left 3 Mexican Swimmers in the employee restroom."

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swimmers disease

An affliction suffered by males when they're in large bodies of water (ocean, river, swimming pool, bath tub, etc) for an extended amount of time. The 'disease' itself is reference to the shrinkage of the male's scrotum due to over-exposure to water. Similar to the 'pruning' that occurs to ones fingers and toes when submerged under water for extended periods of time, but for the scrotum.

Happy's first birthday party was a real blast, except for the widespread case of swimmers disease.

7👍 3👎

non-swimmer

code word for a person of african-american decent, usually a customer of a restaurant who leaves a less than average tip, or is unusually hard to please

those non-swimmers didn't even leave me a tip!!

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