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A "bible" is a very large stack of money. Another alteration of this world is "pocket bible", which means a smaller stack of money.
Ex 1: "Aye, look! It's a bunch of bibles in this duffle bag!"
Ex 2: "I can pull you some scriptures from a bible if you need some."
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An annoying and seemingly unending collection of literary works that were established by one story that was told to an old man by a talking bush.
Gradually, the story was recollected and rewritten and is now worshipped by brainwashed followers of an unproven historical event.
The millions of homes in which this book inhabits persist that followers symbolically eat the flesh and drink the blood of Christ, who is Jewish and his own father.
The book has sexist innuendoes such as Adam being made in "God's" likeness where as Eve was made of a piece of Adam's rib bone and dust.
The most fantastic piece of fiction ever written.
"That story we had to read could never happen."
"Yeah, just like the Bible."
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1,000 doses of LSD, usually in the form of 10 sheets of blotter acid (100 doses).
Church is for reading Bibles, music festivals are for eating Bibles.
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An ingenious scam developed by book salesmen in 0BC
They wrote a book called 'The Bible' which was a #1 Best Seller across the middle east and then spread across the planet.
'The Bible' tells the story of Jesus and all his pals.
These salesmen, and Jesus, slowly gathered a large number of followers and plotted to take over the universe.
1.
Friend: I just finished reading 'The Bible', it's awesome
You: Yeah, I hope there's a sequel
2.
Friend: Man, I hate those 'Door-to-Door Biblemen'
You: Give them a break, Jesus told them to do it.
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the bible is violent as fuck, if the bible were a movie and god wasn't willing to make any cuts the mpaa would deem it violent enough to get an nc-17 rating, the bible would only play in certain art house theaters and only gross a small amount of money, upon the bibles release on dvd the bible would not be available at walmart, best buy, blockbuster and many other retailers, the bible would not be shown on cable often. the bible would soon be forgotten about as most nc-17 rated films are.
the bible is also the best selling book ever made. it contains more sex and violence then any book ever written. people known as catholics want for you to read this graphicly violent and sexually explicit account of supposed real life events so badly, that they will give you a copy for free at any church.
the bible is an extremley violent book
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1. Something that causes alcoholics to be become born again christians, then start drinking again.
2. Something Bush refers to but he cant read.
3. Is full of fictional stories, as Adam and Eve and a guy who lived inside a whale (how can you take this book seriously?)
4. Something people worship because they ignore science and listen to what mommy and daddy said because they're always right.
5. Purely fictional
6. Is disproven by evolution/big bang/laws of thermodynamics
christian: Im Sorry sir, but the bible says to lynch niggers.
african american: but the bible has no proof or says why you lynch black people.
christian: but your a nigger
dundundun
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Christian religious text used to gain salvation through Christ and follow His word. Meant to create peace and spread kindness to all who read it and preach its words
“Jesus loves you, it says so in the Bible”
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