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Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afriad of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
It is said that Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. The only problem is that Chuck Norris never cries.
Chuck Norris will knock you out son!
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An expert in the martial arts, a true scholar, and a gentleman. He will one day be the American army... maybe Vin Diesel will be a teammate, but mostly just Chuck.
He doesnt read books, he just stares at them until he gets information.
Chuck Norris shot the sheriff, but he roundhouse kicked the deputy in the face... the sheriff was the luckier of the two.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
If Chuck Norris round-house kicks you, you will die. If Chuck Norris misses you with the round-house kick, the wind behind the kick will tear out your pancreas.
Chuck Norris’ sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.
With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.
Fact: Chuck Norris doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives.
Chuck Norris is a vegetarian. Meaning, he does not eat animals until first he puts them into vegetative state with his fists.
N. Chuck Norris is God.
V. Did you see the way Mark just Chuck Norrised his girlfriend in the vagina?
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A god that, while having sex with your wife in a truck, purposely let one of his sperm loose in the engine. You now know that truck as Optimus Prime
Why are we looking for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq? Chuck Norris lives in Houston.
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chuck norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best god damn lemon-aid you've ever tasted!
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the worst actor but biggest @$$ kicker of all time.
huck norris once drowed a fish.
chuck norris is so bad he killed a bird by throwing it off a cliff.
once chuck norris farted, he set off an earthpuake that broke a rictor scale.
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there is no known word that can define Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris defines of himself.
when chuck Norris does a push up, he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the earth down.
a round house kick by Chuck Norris has enough energy to power the city of Chicago for a year
evolution never occurred. It was just the things chuck norris decided to let live.
they say that chuck Norris doesn't have a chin. Under his beard is another fist
chuck norris doesn't go hunting, he goes killing
god created earth with the approval of chuck Norris
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