Rural Dictionary

England

Officially the greatest nation on the face of this Earth. Often attacked by other nations due to its superiority, England is the beacon for pretty much everything great that has happened over the past 1000 years. England owned most of the World not long ago (aided by Scotland and Wales, see arse licks and beg friends) and jealousy from other nations is still rife. Most caucasian Americans are of English descent, and should be damn proud of that fact. The status of England has admittedly recently become a bit of a laughing stock due to grotesque levels of illegal immigration, political correctness, people scared to speak up against left wing twats, and ignorance of greatness.

Ahmed: I'd love to move to England, but I'd really like to see high crime levels, incredible obesity rates, low life expectancy, extremely cold weather, and a language which I couldn't understand if I was there for 50 years, where shall I go?
Egbert: Scotland.

Teacher: Bobby, how do you spell 'perfection'?
Bobby: E-N-G-L-A-N-D

by George Payne April 12, 2008

136👍 172👎

england

Despite minor problems, England is still the coolest place in the world.
Yes we are disliked by some nations (like the Irish and what seems to be the Americans after reading other posts) but we still rock. We invented half of the sports the average person plays, eg. football (or soccer if you must), cricket, golf, ruby and boxing,we are arguably one of Europe's centres of culture, had the biggest empire known to man plus about 1000 other things.
A word to some of the Anglophobes around here, namingly the Americans...
1) You think our accents are strange? Try yours
2) If you hate all of us so much then why speak our language? Why do you use our measurement system? Huh?
3) So what if we drink tea and eat crumpets? So what if we have bad weather? So what if we have a royal family? Nice to have a bit of culture unlike you lot.

Pax Brittania

American: So you're from England huh?
Englishman: Yes...you are?
American: We have tons more nukes than you guys do...
Englishman: I don't doubt that.
American: You're confusing me.
Englishman: I am not surprised.
American: What?!
Englishman: Nevermind.
American: You have funny accents.

Irishman: You bastards! You took our land! You bastards! Gimme my land back.
Englishman: That was 80 years ago. You have your own country now. Doesn't that feel good after 750years? Be happy.
Irishman: An English soldier killed my great grandfather who I never fooking met! I hate England for fooking ever.
Englishman: I'll be going now.
Irishman: Fooking English bastard...We won the war in 1916!
Englishman: If you are referring to your 'war' in Easter 1916 which was merely a crushed rebellion, no,I'm afraid you didn't.

by Decman February 26, 2006

154👍 197👎

England

A country in Great Britain that, funnily enough, consists of more than just London, and has inhabitants which, contrary to popular American belief, do not usually play tennis with Prince Charles and then go eat crumpets and drink tea with the Queen every afternoon at four.

English; "I'm from England?"
American; "Ohmygodddd, you're from London right?"
English; "Actually I'm from Leeds."
American; "...where?"

American; "Are you from England?"
English; "yes"
American; "Do you know the Queen?"
English; (sarcastically) "Oh yes. As a matter of fact I'm just off hunting with her royal highness. Pip-pip."

by Sara;K July 4, 2009

43👍 49👎

England

A country like any other, with both good and bad people and things.
Sadly it's a country that is subject to rather a lot of racism, as exemplified by most of the posts on this website.

"England stole my country. England enslaved the world. etc. etc."

"No, that was Britain, which includes Scotland and Wales and used to include a few other countries too, and it all happened long before any of us was born".

Get over it.
(vote SNP)

by Mongrel Tom August 18, 2006

119👍 152👎