Alternative facts

A fancy way to say bullshit.

"You're saying it's a falsehood and Sean Spicer, our press secretary, gave alternative facts to that,"

1294👍 84👎

Rock Fact

Any statement that sounds like it could be true, but isn't. From Emmy-award-winning mini-series "Over the Garden Wall."

"Oh. I didn't know that. Did you know that if you soak a raisin in grape juice, it becomes a grape? It's a rock fact!"

"Did you know that dinosaurs had big ears but everyone forgot 'cause dinosaurs' ears don’t have bones. You don’t remember? That’s cause it’s not true. It’s a rock fact!"

65👍 2👎

Fact Checking

A sinister new euphemism for censorship

After luring millions of people onto Facebook with the false promise of free friends and free sex, Mark Zuckerberg suddenly started "fact checking" our free speech until only the views in line with his his rich cronies' plot for world domination were allowed.

115👍 6👎

Alternative Facts

Lies.

There is no such thing as "Alternative Facts".
They're fucking lies, damn.

872👍 72👎

Fact Check

To censor or ban a user from an online social media platform, usually due to the user sharing ideas or content that the administrators of the platform disagree with on an ideological level.

"I archived Jane's facebook post on voter fraud before it was fact checked. I'll send it to you in a private message."

129👍 8👎

And them's the facts

When you have a bland conclusion, this is what you replace it with.

Ending your essay with "in conclusion" is
- bland
- overused
- predictable

Ending your essay with "and them's the facts" is
- compelling
- unexpected
- confirms that those are indeed the facts

17👍 1👎

Facebook Fact

Complete bullshit stat circulated on facebook as if it is the gospel truth.

Wanker: Did you know 80% of i-phone owners would rather be dead than not have their phone...
Normal person: That's a Facebook Fact you fucking wanker!

56👍 4👎