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A solemn promise to refrain from Absinthe ingestion to prevent the ear-severing, cubo-witticisms (or worse) that would inherently bloom. It is vowed as follows:
"I, (state your name), do hereby pledge to practice absinth-tinence by remaining absinth-tinent from Absinthe. Since Absinthe incidents in many instances induce incipient syn(es)thetic inspiration and sinsister synthetic insistence on sin, I sincerely insist I will be absent from instances of Absinthe ingestion, this instant.”
After completing the Absinthe ritual several times over with newly-made friends from Argentina, Quebec City and Gainesville, Florida (state your name) shot to his feet and bolted toward the waterfront and a club on the pier of beautiful Barcelona, in search of adventure. Little did he realise, he would end up having his balls grabbed by that dirty Spaniard Frank, leaning in for a kiss or something, all after inviting (state your name) back to his apartment to wait for his "hot journalist friends in little skirts" that didn't end up meeting him at the club. Waking up at his hostel late in the afternoon, (state your name)'s face was pale green-opalescent white like the colour of Absinthe mixed with water.
In hindsight, the Colbert Absinthe-tinence Pledge would have made a helluva lot of sense.
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A new hazing tactic used by Frats and Sororities across the nation.
The sister sorority’s pledges take a trip to a Mexican restaurant and must eat really spicy food. Afterwards they take laxatives. Then, they go outside and play volleyball or something else for a while to get absolutely drenched in sweat and develop really bad swamp ass. This is the preparation phase.
Next, the sister pledges are made to get on their hands and knees in a doggystyle position and the brother fraternity’s pledges are made to get behind them and stick their tongues deep into the assholes of the sisters. The boys are now the pipe cleaners. The sister pledges are supposed to ride their tongues in and out of their assholes using it like a pipe cleaner. Usually this is made to last at least 10-15 minutes. During this, the girls must try to fart as many times as possible. At the end of it, the girls with the 5 fewest number of farts must then become pipe cleaners for the girls with the 5 highest number of farts. So this produces the incentive to not lose.
Rules: Under NO circumstances is a frat pledge allowed to pull his tongue out of the girl’s asshole until he is told that the time is up. He could be subject to restarting AND being made to do it 2 or 3 times if he does.
There are no restrictions on how many times a sorority pledge can fart or how aggressive they are allowed to ride the tongue of the frat pledge. While shitting is not allowed, sharting is to be expected due to the laxatives.
I heard John went though the pledge pipe cleaning yesterday. He told me he can’t get the taste out of his mouth no matter what he does!
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when you're too cool to pledge allegiance to the flag alone
i pledge allegiance to the swag mothafuckaaa!
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The key to the destruction of the multiverse, having the capability to eradicate all life forms in every single dimension in every single timeline. More powerful than any line starting with “ur.” Only been used once before in history, but was denied by an uno reverse card.
Ryan: Did you eat the rest of the cereal
Robert: Yeah why
Ryan: *slowly brings his hands together, closing his eyes while making an upside down triangle with his fingers*
Robert: U-ur mom gay!
Ryan: *opens his eyes, they’re now glowing* No u
Robert: *falls to his knees* Don-
Ryan: Ur pledge of allegiance and star spangled speeches a hedge of queer sieges and dudes without penis
Robert: NO- #*{£<+¥\•
*Robert himself would start to crack, causing holes in the space-time continuum as Ryan drains the life force of every single living thing in existence, becoming one with the void*
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I pledge alligence to the flag of United States of America, and to the republic, of which it stands, one nation under god indivisible with liberty and justice for all, but I copy and pasted this
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Maybe the confederacy pledge? I dunno.
Please rise for the Pledge of Confederacy. "I pledge allegiance to the South of the Confederate States of America. And to the confederacy, for which it stands, one nation, under God, divisible from the Union, with Liberty and Justice for the South."
pledge that has to carry nicotine on them
brother: where is the nic pledge? i need my zyns.