Rural Dictionary

ninja

1. (v) To perform something dastardly and underhanded.

2. (v) To steal.

3. (v) To shirk or sneak away from something.

4. (v) To hide.

5. (v) To kill someone in a silent manner.

6. (v) In MMORPGs, to pick up a dropped item that your character does not need and refuse to give it to someone in your party who is more in need, just for the hell of it.

7. (n) In modern US military slang, any member of a Special Forces group that is primarily involved in recon, sabotage or rescue going deep into enemy territory. This is rarely used, but common when referring to a Special Forces operative who is wearing what is also dubbed a "ninja suit" - a pair of matte black BDUs, usually with some face paint to go with it.

8. (n) A grossly misunderstood historical occupation, skewed by comic books and movies. The ninja was the ultimate pragmatist - lofty codes of honor and ritual suicide did not apply at all to him. They were highly adaptive, extremely physically fit and intelligent - taijutsu, or hand to hand combat, is only part of the entire science and art that is ninjutsu. The ninja also learned how to camoflague, fake accents, act, craft disguises, chemistry (for creating bombs and devices), various kinds of weapons training, wilderness survival, escaping all sorts of prisons and traps, building traps and much more. Young children were scouted and adopted into ninja clans at a very young age, typically around six to eight, if came across a need to swell ranks. While taijustsu was a small part of ninjutsu, it was nonetheless very practical and very comprehensive. A valid taijutsu system will have striking, grappling, joint locking and proper breathing exercises.

Everything that would benefit them, they would learn and assimilate. Indeed, as soon as Western firearms became available through a Chnese junk ship and the Japanese began to produce their own domestic arquebusiers and muskets, the ninja incorporated them. The stories of ninja using pistols and muskets are legion. To this day, modern ninjutsu-ryus such as Tokage-ryu (Who's headquarters is the Honbu Dojo and, very sadly, is devoured in controversy at the moment. The Grandmaster and all his senior students were all killed in a car accident while they were on a mountain trip. Much of the advanced teachings may be lost.) incorporate modern firearms training, mainly semiautomatic pistols and rifles.

Mythology built up around the legendary strength, agility, resourcefulness and even magic. Kunai and shuriken were made to distract and disable, not kill. The shuriken itself is designed so that it saws at the target, then flies off, NOT stick into his flesh. This coupled with the glint of the metal shuriken at night and no apparent evidence left on its target led people to create many myths about the ninja, like the ability of them to shoot lightning from their hands. The ninja meditation and Buddhist seals were taken as precursors of magical spells. Their ability to squeeze out of any amount of roping and vanish in solid steel bar cages served only to ignite the wild imaginations of rumor-spreaders, and the ability to stay still for days.

Another popular myth is that the ninja's primary job was as an assassin. This could not be any further from the truth. The ninja were used as spies, reconnaisance, sabotage and information gathering. In fact, no ninja assassinations have ever been recorded in history. We can any make vague guesses and assumptions, but the evidence that they worked primarily to gather information is staggering compared to the guesswork of figuring out who they might have killed.

The black ninja dogi also highly perpetuated in movies likely myth as well. The ninja would typically disguise himself as a peasant, merchant or samurai. If they did wear anything like what you see in the movies, it was probably a dark brown to match forests or a dark blue, since pitch black sticks out in even the blackest of night. But most likely, they probably just rubbed dirt or debris on themselves to break up their figure. Afterall, it'd be terribly suspicious if some guards found you sneaking around a castle dressed in an all black catsuit. Indeed, the records of ninjas fighting in organized military battles hold much more evidence than them carrying out separated individual assassinations.

1. Dan left to go to the bathroom, so I ninjaed an entire bottle of tabasco sauce into his Kool Aid.

2. I remember in third grade when me and Rob went to 7-11 after school, he ninjaed six candy bars when the clerk was pulling money out of the cash machine.

3. I don't feel like taking out the garbage. I'm gonna ninja out the window and hang out with my buddies.

4. Oh shit! Cops! Quick, hide the eggs! I'm gonna ninja in those bushes!

5. Last night in CounterStrike, Ron was crouching by the door in the bomb site. When the terrorist ran by he ninjaed him with a knife.

6. That little fuckface just ninjaed that Mantle of the Psychic Champion! And he's a fucking Barbarian!

7. Jesee's dad used to be a Navy SEAL ninja. He doesn't really talk about it, but there are some pictures of him with his graduating class in ninja suits after a training exercise.

8. Hattori Hanzo, also known as Masashige, was a very famous ninja. He was the jounin (Clan Leader) of the Iga Clan, and served the shogun Tokugawa Ieyasu very loyally. He fought his first battle at 16, and went on to serve at the battles of Anegawa and Mikatagahara. He was nicknamed as 'Devil Hanzo' not only for his prowess, but also to distinguish him from another Tokugawa ninja, Watanabe Hanzo.

His successor and son Masanari was given the title Iwami-no-Kami, and his men became the guards of Edo Castle. Hanzo's reputation as a jounin who commanded a 200-man strong unit of Iga ninja grew to legendary proportions.

by Kankokujin May 13, 2005

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