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A sexual copypasta about Ahsoka Tano from Star Wars, where Obi-Wan Kenobi tells Luke Skywalker about Ahsoka in sexual descriptions.
Luke, did I ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano? She was your father’s exotic teenage alien apprentice, a fine piece of jailbait from a more civilized age. She had the tightest body and the perkiest little breasts in the galaxy; barely legal in most systems.
Anakin and I used to doubleteam her at the end of every successful campaign during the Clone Wars, and once in a while we’d even have the entire 501st run a train over her, part of official Jedi “training” of course. In time, she learned how to handle a meatsaber better than anyone in the Jedi Temple. She wore a miniskirt every day so we told her there were no panties in space, and since she was constantly doing acrobatics you’d get a glimpse of her orange pussy mid fight as she’d do a flip while slicing a B2 Super Battledroid in half. It was surreal.
We taught her to grip her weapon backwards like a dildo and she constantly got captured by pirates and slavers almost every other day. It was ridiculous, like a constant porno Luke, you have no idea. And she was a good friend.
51👍 11👎
Engineering Calculus:
As the tangent to the curve approaches infinity:
Variable Constraints Include:
Time
Location
Romantic Implication
Humourous Viability
Sexual Implication
Newton's Law
Results can be extrapolated by isolating one variable.
Ex.
Girl: I don't like ditzes.
Boy: I don't like ditzes either.
Girl: I like cheese
Boy: Mee too.
Girl: I like you so much I might actually tell you
x = romantic implication
Ex 2:
Boy: I like funny sarcastic bobble heads
Girl: I'm a funny sarcastic bobble head
Boy: I like you so much I might actually tell you
Girl: Ew you're creepy.
x = humourous viability + sexual implications
Ex 3:
Girl: Hi stranger, pay attention to me.
Boy: You're pretty.
Girl: I like you so much I might actually tell you.
Boy: Your positive?
x= newton's law, time, location
9👍 5👎
A ptsd trigger for those who are very cultured.
"Oh no, I just wound you. Don’t tell me you’re broken. So not fair. I’ve taken extra good care of you and everything..." Jane said
"Never say that again!" James shouted with fear in his eyes.
14👍 2👎
Being real tired or fed up with repeating the same thing to someone because they won't listen or do what they're told.
Son: dad can't you see i'm playing video games Dad: I told you to help your mother with the dishes 3 minutes ago so go do it now. I won't tell you again!!
A chicanoism that translates in English to "Just to let you know", or "Just so you're aware".
Many Californians and residents of Southwest states will not even recognize this phrase as regional or colloquial, and will in fact believe that it is an English phrase. It is actually from the Chicano language.
See also: "Can I get...", "White cheese," "Barely just," and "Turkey Ham"
A: Just to tell you, we're out of ranch.
B: I don't even like ranch.
A: Okay, okay, I was just to tell you.
let me tell you something octogon vreedle, a mans food is his castle
let me tell you something manny armstrong, you want a piece of rath? you got a piece! but you just bit off a piece bigger than your stomach can chew
let me tell you something forever knights: nobody's ripping open nothin except rath!
*pew pew*
well thats your first mistake, when you shoot rath you just make rath mad!
When you prove a dumb nigga wrong or you say you gonna do it and you did it
Guy1: yo these curls been getting me hoes
Guy2: No they don’t it make you lame
Guy1: bet if I get that girls insta
Guy2: ok bet
*walks up to the baddies asks for they insta and gets it*
Guy1: what I tell you dumb nigga dem curls make me fine