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A sexual copypasta about Ahsoka Tano from Star Wars, where Obi-Wan Kenobi tells Luke Skywalker about Ahsoka in sexual descriptions.
Luke, did I ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano? She was your father’s exotic teenage alien apprentice, a fine piece of jailbait from a more civilized age. She had the tightest body and the perkiest little breasts in the galaxy; barely legal in most systems.
Anakin and I used to doubleteam her at the end of every successful campaign during the Clone Wars, and once in a while we’d even have the entire 501st run a train over her, part of official Jedi “training” of course. In time, she learned how to handle a meatsaber better than anyone in the Jedi Temple. She wore a miniskirt every day so we told her there were no panties in space, and since she was constantly doing acrobatics you’d get a glimpse of her orange pussy mid fight as she’d do a flip while slicing a B2 Super Battledroid in half. It was surreal.
We taught her to grip her weapon backwards like a dildo and she constantly got captured by pirates and slavers almost every other day. It was ridiculous, like a constant porno Luke, you have no idea. And she was a good friend.
51👍 11👎
Engineering Calculus:
As the tangent to the curve approaches infinity:
Variable Constraints Include:
Time
Location
Romantic Implication
Humourous Viability
Sexual Implication
Newton's Law
Results can be extrapolated by isolating one variable.
Ex.
Girl: I don't like ditzes.
Boy: I don't like ditzes either.
Girl: I like cheese
Boy: Mee too.
Girl: I like you so much I might actually tell you
x = romantic implication
Ex 2:
Boy: I like funny sarcastic bobble heads
Girl: I'm a funny sarcastic bobble head
Boy: I like you so much I might actually tell you
Girl: Ew you're creepy.
x = humourous viability + sexual implications
Ex 3:
Girl: Hi stranger, pay attention to me.
Boy: You're pretty.
Girl: I like you so much I might actually tell you.
Boy: Your positive?
x= newton's law, time, location
9👍 5👎
A ptsd trigger for those who are very cultured.
"Oh no, I just wound you. Don’t tell me you’re broken. So not fair. I’ve taken extra good care of you and everything..." Jane said
"Never say that again!" James shouted with fear in his eyes.
14👍 2👎
When you prove a dumb nigga wrong or you say you gonna do it and you did it
Guy1: yo these curls been getting me hoes
Guy2: No they don’t it make you lame
Guy1: bet if I get that girls insta
Guy2: ok bet
*walks up to the baddies asks for they insta and gets it*
Guy1: what I tell you dumb nigga dem curls make me fine
Huh? There something you want to tell me fat shit? Come on. Spit it out.
Hym "Got something you want to tell me? Huh? How is it that you can afford to pay $1000 a month for you mother to NOT support herself but an act of god occurs that temporarily renders me unable to support myself and you don't have $240 for whichyou would eventually be reimbursed? Because it's spite. You want me to work hard in spite if the fact that you are aggregating an disseminating information about me (likely for profit). Go fuck yourself. I shouldn't have to do anything if my very existence generates revenue."
i’m gonna say something urban dictionary doesn’t like……
i will not buy the skibidi toilet mug.
person: i have something to tell you…. i’m not gonna buy the skibidi toilet mug
person 2: yea me neither lol
si stop taking you can’t tell me what to do so shut up
shut up you can’t tell me what to do