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The act of 2 people engaging in a conversation via text messaging with both parties goals being to text something so gross and disturbing that the other party is unable to respond. A text battle is spontaneous and starts with no warning. An ancillary goal is to give the enemy nightmares. A text battle is usually started with a single word text, or a short phrase, replied to with a similar, more gross phrase.
A text battles disturbing nature may result in an individual or group being monitored by a government agency, like the CIA or NSA.
How a text battle looks:
Person 1: "Fermunda Cheese"
Person 2: "Gleet Burger"
Person 1: "Yeast infection marinade"
Person 2: "Gangrene foot puree"
Person 1: "Mung milkshake"
Person 2: "That's gross man, leave me alone"
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The text message version of "speak of the devil"
-A text from a person one was just thinking of, or just going to text.
Alice: (text) "Hey Bob what's up!"
Bob: (text) "Text of the Devil! I was just thinking about you!"
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When a closet Homosexual needs an emotional outlet they text Niall.
You can also tell a person is homosexual if they have texts form Niall on there phone.
If a person is homosexual you can ask them if 'they are texting Niall' to confirm there homosexuality
Jonathan: " I've got something to tell you mate"
Robbie: "I've been suspicious for a whilst, are you texting Niall?"
Jonathan: "Yes."
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Random words or text, as if written by monkeys banging on typewriters.
The text message you sent me was just monkey text.
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When somebody responds to a either meaningful, or informative text with one of the the following; yeah, cool, ok, nice, fun, alright, ect.
Guy: will you go to prom with me?
Girl: I'd love to!
Guy: alright
(girl to herself: what a text kill)
Guy: So I was thinking about going to see a movie later tonight.
Girl:cool
(guy to himself: what a text kill)
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When someone texts you, but they begin to misspell simple words such as 'the' and 'that'.
There are many ways to know that someone is drunk texting you, such as the culprit posting 'Going out for a drink or two' as his or her facebook status a little earlier. Or by your friend bringing up old stories from their past childhood, or even when they begin to put 'lol' or 'hahah' a lot more.
- Text Alert goes off -
Andrea: Oh cool, a new message from Janelle. (reads to herself) " Hey remember thaert time where you knocefrfked your little sisdter out with a recorsd?"
- Andrea thinks to herself : Who gave her the George Dickle again, she has got to be drunk texting. -
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