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The beliefs of Toolism.
I- Females are the master sex.
II- Blind-loyalty to all females.
III- Offerings must be made to females lately.
IV- Study guides WILL be given during all tests or quizzes to females.
V- iPhone will given to females at least 3 hours daily.
VI- All who disagree will be called ridiculous/immature and be punished.
VII- All who rebel will be expelled from the Tool Shed.
VIII- nonbelievers must be converted and a female friend will be rewarded for
one hour minimum.
IX- You shall not cover your neighbor's tool.
X- You shall not use the name of the lord your owner in vain.
All people who follow these commandments will be awarded the golden screwdriver of
the year award.
If I follow the Tool Commandments girls may like me and be my friend.
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wears the same sweater every day
thinks he is the shizzle
is a douche
is a tool
has a pyramid head
me: that guy is friggin dumb dude
you: he's a douche tool.
me: i know, right?
9👍 9👎
Someone Who has been homeschooled all their life. When the time come for them to apply for college, they have no guidance counselors, and every school they apply for requires painfull, unreasonable measures for those homeschoolers applying. Thus making the only option for the homeschooler to get an education is to join the military. Making them an "Army Tool".
Homeschooler: Dude this Sucks, I can't find a college that'll accept me.
Friend 1: Why?
Homeschooler: Cus I'm F***in Homeschooled! Now I have no choice but to join the Army.
Freind 1: Dude life Sucks for Jake.
Freind 2: Why?
Freind 1: He can't get into college cus he's Homeschooled.
Freind 2: Damn that Sucks. What an Army Tool.
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Avid listeners of the alternative metal band known as Tool. Tool fans believe that, by listening to music with no concept of time signatures and pseudo-cryptic lyrics sang by a man known as Maynard Ivory James Keenan Wayans, it puts them on a higher intellectual and musical plateau than fans of non-"prog" bands. You can pick a Tool fan out of a crowd easily, by looking for a college student who speaks of issues which he has little to no understanding of, rants about conspiracy theories, is a half-hearted activist and constantly reeks of bong water. A Tool fan, as a rule, will never look presentable, wearing yesterday's hoodie and a baseball cap over his unwashed and shaggy hair.
You know Jeff? That annoying kid who shows up 30 minutes late to class every day with serious redeye and voices his stance on everything from abortion to extraterrestrialism without being asked? I hear he's a big Tool fan. Figures.
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a female who engages in sexual intercourse with a male known socially as a tool
The young lady abandoned her standards of dating and eventually became a tool shed.
5👍 5👎
The next level of being a tool. More than being a power tool, tool shed, tool box, and any other kinds of tool you can think of.
Andrew is a power tool.
Not as much as Patrick who is being a tool company.
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A complete tool. On the levels on toolness, becoming a 'tool can' is the ultimate highest. If this is in your name, nickname, or something that people just call you; you are most likely a tool for life.
a. That person was a complete tool can.
b. Yeah, we should call them tool can tan.