π-time blowjob

A surprise blowjob that occurs at 3:14 am or pm.

I woke up last night to find Caroline giving me a π-time blowjob. It took me completely by surprise.

Geddy Lee Blowjob

Recieving oral sex while listening to Rush. Considered one of the greatest things a man can hope to experience in their lifetime. The cornerstone of every bucket list.

"Dude last night we started making out, I put on Chronicles, and the next thing I knew I was getting a Geddy Lee Blowjob. I came just as the keyboard solo in Tom Sawyer started... Man it was amazing"

61👍 6👎

blowjob

Also known as blow job, BJ, and fellacio, a blowjob is how you drive a man like me up the wall. I imagine recieving a perfect blowjob and I know just how to do it.

1. Kiss chest, and drag it down to dick.

2. Massage balls with left hand, and dick with right hand. Do this until he is nice and hard.

3. Apply lips to tip of dick, and slowly flick it with your tounge.

4. Lick, drink, and eat any cum. This will cause immense sexual pleasure.

5. Make sure to hum and moan a lot. This will send him straight up the wall.

6. Continue the rubbing technique I showed you earlier, and don't stop rubbing.
6. As you suck harder, push dick in deeper and swirl tounge around faster.

7. And finally, if you really want to. Deep throat it. This is when he is most likely to cum.

With this perfect blowjob recipe, any man is going to simply go crazy. Especially me. I prefer it.

And remember: A blowjob is the best kind of sex out of the question. And the reason is the radically simple fact that it feels so good.

When I recieve a blowjob, it just makes my day.

14👍 1280👎

Blowjob Face

When a bishes makeup is all smeared/messed up from the dirty blowjob she just gave.

Damn look at that girl....that's total blowjob face.

2👍 9👎

The peanut butter blowjob

Picture this: PEANUT BUTTER BLOWJOB. You start out, taking a nice glob of peanut butter, (jiffy, with extra peanut chunks) and massage all over the penis. This gives a tingly feeling to the penis and warms up the blowjob that he is about to experience. As he moans in delight, shove some penis filled peanut butter in his mouth. Then, while ur mouth waters because of ur absolute love of peanut butter, begin to lick and suck the peanut butter off his dick. When he cums, u wont even be able to realize the disgusting taste of it since you’re so caught up in the delicious penis butter. And there ya go, a peanut butter blowjob Extra plus if he’s allergic! You can murder him physically AND mentally in absolute delight. He will start breathing really quickly and u think he’s having an orgasm; however, he is dying. You don’t know which is which: dying, or orgasming, because both looks and sounds so similar. You just have to wait and see.

Drew: bruh this hot guy asked me to give him a bj but I really dont want to
Emily: have u ever tried the peanut butter blowjob??? they taste sooo good
Drew: omg thanks em ill try it out!

Does that come with a blowjob?

One's reaction to an over-priced product.

Store Clerk:Your new starter is gonna be $512.67 +Tax.

Customer: Wow, thats expensive! Does that come with a blowjob?

46👍 5👎

blowjob alarm clock

when you wake up to someone (preferrably a woman) with your dick in their mouth performing fellatio.

wow im gonna have a great day! why? because i got a blowjob alarm clock.

459👍 86👎