you're cousin an english muffin

worse than you're mom gay but not as bad at your dad lesbian, your granny tranny, ur sister a mister or ur grandpap a trap

1: ur mom gay

2: no u
1: you're cousin an english muffin

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bang bang you're dead

steat slang meaning a violent death by gang bangers

yo hoe mess with that dude and next thing you know bang bang you're dead

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You're a good man, Charlie Brown

Something said to someone who does good and means well but always gets the crap end of things or the short end of the stick. Similar to "Bless your heart."

Guy 1: Hey, what happened to your arm?
Guy 2: I helped my uncle move a couch the other day. He let go, and I fell down the stairs.
Guy 1: Wow, that sucks, man.
Guy 2: Yeah, but I still picked it back up and carried it up the stairs.

Guy 1: You're a good man, Charlie Brown.

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I smell what you're steppin' in

to express your understanding for another person's thoughts.

Dude #1: I feel bad saying this, but Tim's sister is a total skank.

Dude #2: Yeah, I smell what you're steppin' in. I can't get rid of this aweful rash.

Dude #3: Yeah...wait. WHAT?!

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it's only queer if you're tied to the pier

Derivation: U.S. Navy slang. An entreaty used by a desperately horny male sailor to get another male sailor to engage in clandestine sexual activity for the purpose of mutual release. Based on the theory that when two guys on a ship with no access to females have sex, they are not gay, but just helping out a shipmate.

HT2 Betz: "Dude, if you jack me off, I'll jack you off."
AO2 Griffin: "No, way, man! That's gay!"
HT2 Betz: "We've been at sea for three months, and we won't see Pearl for another three. I'm just saying help a shipmate out. After all, it's only queer if you're tied to the pier."
AO2 Griffin: "Yeah, I guess you're right. We could go to the chain locker..."

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Typing like you're gonna die

Typing in extreme shorthand as though you don't have enough time left to actually type out a normal sentence.

Mostly used by people who are either too lazy to bother taking time to write a coherent sentence or people who think it's "cool" because "everyone" does it online.

(P.S. No, we don't.)

Bob: LOLZ @U! U R wya 2 dum 2 uz a comptr!!

Rob: What the hell's wrong with you? You're typing like you're gonna die, stop doing that!

Bob: Wut M I d'ing?

Rob: <signs off>

You're going to love my nuts.

The famous phrase that Vince, or the Sham-wow guy says during his infomercial for the Slap chop.

Watch this, you're going to love my nuts.

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