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We all know these people. They litter our Facebook news feeds with pseudo-spiritual garbage they have just withdrew, out of context mind you, from the latest philosophy book, heresy of a friend, and/or New Age blog. They contradictorily use the most superficial expression of communication available to Western culture as a soapbox to preach about "enlightenment," "awakening," or "the way." Not sure if they think they are Bruce Lee or Jesus Christ, but they come off more like a cross between a monk and a bum standing on a street corner reciting madness to himself.
"Life is the edge of the universe. I am enlightened, you should become enlightened as well." ~Example of a Facebook Spiritual posting on Facebook
"That guy lives off the support of his friends and family, has no goals in life, doesn't mind using gasoline or computers whose very use and existence here in America enslaves the developing world...yet preaches every frickin' day on social networks because he's another goddamn Facebook spiritual."
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Facebook users who seem like cool peeps in person, but get hostile and obsessive while on Facebook. The "facebook mood swings" between mania and depression can be very abrupt.
Facebook Posts:
Rachael Ray: I am perfect. Everyone should be like me!
Lindsay Lohan: I'm pretty cool too!
Rachael Ray: NO! You aren't me. Everything I say is right. If you disagree with me you are wrong.
Rachael Ray:I will now post a recipe for the perfect life, mine. ;) Hope this pisses you off!
Lindsay Lohan: I think you are Facebook bipolar!
Rachael Ray: What? I had a *winking smiley face* you can't get mad if I put a smiley face!
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A friday night when you have nothing to do but be on Facebook, look at your friends pictures, and like everything and anything you see!
My fun freaky Friday plans turned into a lame, but fufilling, Facebook Friday
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one engages in the act of 'facebook masturbation' when one decides to 'like' their own status.
'Dude, maybe if I like my own status, I'll start a trend and people will start responding and liking it and I'll finally be POPULAR!'
Michael is partying down lol haha!
Michael likes this status.
Classic facebook masturbation.
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A spin-off from the more commonly known act "drunk dialing" this occurs when a person is intoxicated, logs on to his facebook account and makes an unusually high number of comments, not limited to exes (ex-girlfriends or ex-boyfriends, whatever the case may be) but to his entire facebook friends list and sometimes his friends' facebook friends lists as well (depending on the level of intoxication). Emboldened by alcohol, he thinks every comment he's making is funnier than the last one he just made and won't stop until he experiences actual passing out (sometimes occurring mid-commenting and on his keyboard).
(See also Facebook Walk of Shame, Facebook Hangover)
John: Why did Bob grab my case of PBR and close the door to his bedroom?
Mary: He's drunk facebooking tonight because he hasn't talked to his parents and friends back home in such a long time. Tomorrow his profile picture will be of a unicorn humping a hippopotamus and his status update will be a blanket apology to those he may have offended as he nurses that inevitable facebook hangover.
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Noun. (See also facebook slut). A person who spends more time one face book making "friends" than spending time in the real word interacting with their real life friends.
Bec's become a facebook addict. She's more interested in increasing her friends count than spening time with us people who see her in person.
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As you are stalking your faux friend's new photo album on Facebook, paying close attention, you realize that two pictures in a row look peculiarly similar. So you press the left arrow to look at the first picture again. And then you press the right arrow to look at the second picture again. And then you continue to press left and right again and again so that it looks like your friend is moving. Flipping popcorn in his mouth. Crushing that beer can. Kicking rocks. Alas! Facebook Flipbook.
Dude. Did you catch that Facebook Flipbook of Nick? I kept pressing left and right, and it looked like his pants were disappearing and then reappearing.
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