have-a da stupid

have-a da stupid is a phrase often said by mothers from a foreign country when their children do something dumb, idiotic or stupid.

Guido: "Aye, ma. OH! I'm in jail. OH! You gotta bail me out. OH!"
Guido's Mom: "Guido, my son. Why are you in jail?"
Guido: "OH! I pulled out my penis. OH! I ran up to a cop. OH! Then, I jumped up, and slapped him across the face with it. OH!"
Guido's Mom: "Do you have-a da stupid?"

frickin have a can

To tell someone to calm down by pointing out that fact they are raging or going off

Steve: *yelling at his TV while playing CoD* OMG get out of the corner you camping noobs!!!!

Me: Steve, dude, frickin have a can why dont you

Have a child day

You can have a child and your parents wont be mad about it

Person 1: Wanna have a child?
Person 2: But what if my parents find out..
Person 1: Just say it was on July 10th because that was Have a child day!

to have a food baby

to drop a deuce of significant mass and girth

to have a food baby, or not to have a food baby,

that is the question

Apples Have Epilepsy

When you mishear something hilariously wrong because you couldn't really hear the speaker.

Named for a hilarious fail from The Pun Guys doing the Whisper Challenge, where one person wears "loud-ass headphones" and has to figure out the nonsensical sentence that is being said to them.

The opposite of this is "The Thin Rhino" (Also from The Pun Guys)

Dan: Camels eat sexy paper clips.
John: ...Apples have epilepsy!

*Dan dies laughing*

(Opposite version)

John: The thin rhino ate the possessed i-pod.

*Later*
John: The thin rhino...
Dan: The thin rhino?

John: YES!

Dan: What? Wow!!

have a great career

What you tell someone who works a menial job that gives you attitude or doesn't know what the hell you're talking about when you ask them for customer service. This is said as a let down when the person gives you attitude.

Customer: Hi can you tell where to find the stationary?

Walmart employee: Huh? What's that?

Customer: Office supplies. (Thinks to himself "what a dumbass")

Walmart employee : I don't know sir, why don't you go find it your fucking self!

Customer: Wow! You truly hate your dead end job, have a great career at Walmart!

Have a little patience

When someone rushes into an attack on Fortnight and exposes the position of the team, resulting in death, other players will say “Just a have a little patience”

“Niall just have a little patience”
“Just hide in a bush, have a little patience”