porch monkey

a derogatory way of describing an person of African decent

hey porch monkey--you got the money you owe me for the crack rock I sold you?

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Slapping the monkey

British slang for masturbation

John- *fap fap fap*
Bill- hey... what are you doing
John- Not slapping the monkey if thats what you think

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monkey bump

The hardened raised area of a severe blow. Usually administered with the middle knuckle of a fist. Common amoung siblings.

When aggravated Jon would inflict one hell of a monkey bump!

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Arctic Monkeys

Arctic Monkeys are a UK punk/indie/alternative band. From Sheffield, England. Songs inc. Mardy Bum, A Certain Romance, I Bet That You Look Good (on the dancefloor) etc

"Alright mate, what ya listenin' to?"
"Oh a bit'o Arctic Monkeys"

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Hand monkey

A person who just holds a joint and lets it burn, wasting the marijuana, instead of puff-puff-passing like a normal person.

Damn Courtney, either smoke it or pass it. Stop being such a hand monkey; you're wasting the weed.

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monkeys foreheid

Scottish term for Monkeys Forehead. The female genitalia. Fanny, cunt etc. Needing a trim.

"I went down on that bitch and her fanny admin was that bad that it was like a monkeys foreheid Sir!"

song monkey

partygoer who relentlessly dominates the music selection. In extreme cases unable to finish one song before selecting another, in rapid succession.

Song monkey: "Listen to this song, it's amazing! No wait, this one! No wait..."

Everyone: "He's such a goddamn song monkey"