Beer Time

1: Keeping track of time based on the number of beers you have drank.

2: Time for a beer.

1: Have you seen John?

Yeah, he was right here like five beers ago.

2: What time is it?

Beer Time.

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Porch Beer

When you don't feel justified paying 7.99 for a beer at a local bar, when you can buy the 6 pack and have 6 friends over for the same price, drinking beers on the front porch.

I wanted to go out, but my budget was tight so i called my pals and invited them over for porch Beers. First round is on me!

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Safety Beer

Beer purchased in case you'll need it later. Originated in Chapel Hill circa 2010 (VH)

What's the plan?
I don't know, but let's grab some safety beer just in case

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beer police

When your significant other (usually female) tries to control the amount of beer you and/or your buddy consume.

Likely to recruit other girlfriends/wives to adopt this tactic or "join their force".

"Hey Matt, looks like the girls got their badges on again...fuckin beer police"

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Ninja Beers

Little cups of wobbly pop that are sold for insanely low prices at bars on select evenings. Ninja beers sneak up behind you very quietly until BYAHHHHHH....they knock you out cold.

Ninja Beers
"How much are the little guys?"
"a dollar"
"a dollar?? give me five...(ten...fifteen...thirty seven)"
"are you sure?"
"dont you tell me what im capable of drinking"
"oook here you go"
"thanks hot bar lady"

........at this point the Ninja Beer Ninjas are surrounding you waiting for you to drop your guard for the split second they need.....

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBYAH!

...you wake up 15 hours later outside planet pizza.

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beer fairy

The beer fairy is a mysterious creature that does its work only at night, usually after a party has taken place. This creature, comes into your apartment (or other party facility) and glues all of ur cups to the counter and tables. The beer fairy then fills many beer cans back up half way. Sometimes the fairy even goes as far as to take things and punch holes in walls. This is reason why so many people find their dwellings in these conditions the morning after a party.

Damn! The beer fairy has struck again. All these pong cups are stuck to the counter!

Who punched all these holes in our walls and broke all our knuckles? The beer fairy did. The beer fairy loves 108.

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Beer Monkey

Adj. A phrase which describes the post hangover feeling of foreboding and doom accompanied often by an inability to attain restful sleep despite severe fatigue.

Dude I had the worst beer monkeys ever last night, they rode me all night long!

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