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Turtle porn

A guy bad at sex

Mickey: " how is Tyler's dick game?"

Heaven:"It's like turtle porn, slow and boring"

by Grumpup March 24, 2017


Turtle dogging

The same concept as prarie dogging and having a turtle head poking out, just combined into one phrase. A chance to drop both bombs at once.

'For breakfast I ate a kale salad, a bag of baby carrots, a can of beets and a ginger apple smoothie. I just drank a strong coffee, took a bump of coke and a drag of a cigarette and now I'm turtle dogging the most epic schwoop poop ever.'

by Bubblegumblue January 03, 2020


Nested Turtle

1. When the head of the pecker protrudes into the shaft creating a image like a turtles head hiding in its shell.

“As the winter began in pecker town, all the men started to feel a strange sensation. Owen asked why his weiner appeared to look like a turtle hiding in his shell. Vagman, (the man with the 12 inch shlong) Shouted, Hahahaha you have a nice nested turtle going.”

by CammyAlva June 25, 2018


Toxic Turtle

Foul smelling faecal matter which either does not flush or will be accompanied by some form of staining of the toilet bowl. Due to their unpleasant after-effects (especially the long lasting, extremely offensive smell) toxic turtles have the effect of dissuading any person from coming too close to the toilet for a considerable amount of time. (hence the reference to "toxic").

John came over to our place on saturday. After dinner, he released a toxic turtle. Everyone was so grossed out that we could not go near the toilet for at least two hours.

by house rules July 06, 2009


sea turtling

When one lays face down in the sand spread eagle, digs a hole, throws up in it, buries it and then proceeds to keep drinking.

Kelsey is sea turtling, time for the second part of the party.

by FriendOfSeaTurtling July 09, 2013


feared the turtle

Fear the Turtle is what a woman experiences when she realizes halfway through vaginal intercourse that her bowels are full and her enjoyment of the sex has been superseded by her fear of crapping the bed.

Sue had to ask Drew to stop fucking her because she feared the turtle. She got on the can for a minute, then hopped back in bed, and no longer feared the turtle.

by Wangus Maximuz April 23, 2011


Jon's Turtle

Jon's everything. Mom, dad, sister, dog, best friend, EVERYTHING. Not to be confused with Jon's tortoise

Person: "Hey Jon, how's your Jon's turtle"
Jon: "o_o"

by Aly and Vyacheslav May 21, 2012