i have covid

I'm gonna fucking die

Hey! I have Covid! I'm gonna fucking die

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Covid-👹

When some corona-infected souls dream of monsters trying to prematurely take away their lives, or of evil spirits trying to continually oppress or torment them.

For two consecutive nights, Don had a frightening Covid-👹 experience—if only he knew that he’d cast away these demonic forces by calling on the name of Jesus Christ, he needn’t suffer this life-and-death spiritual ordeal.

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Post-Covid Syndrome

A condition whereby some recovering corona patients suffer from cognitive symptoms or delusional disorder—for example, some seniors uncontrollably start spewing out all kinds of lies and conspiracies, or refuse to acknowledge reality.

The president-loser is arguably suffering from post-covid syndrome—is the FDA-unapproved “miracle drug” he took weeks ago now playing tricks on his brain, who is asking his lawyers whether he’d sue the doctors for negligence or incompetence.

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Covid Dutch Oven

Burping with your COVID-19 mask on and smelling your own breath. Requiring you to marinate in your burp juice.

Jim: *burps*
Chad: Yo did you taste that burp? must be a gnarly Covid Dutch oven under there.
Jim: You're damn right.

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covid soldier

A previously infected or vaccinated person who enters high risk environments as part of a Commitment to a greater cause.

Chuckie: Lyle were out of beverages ...you run in for another round.

Lyle: fuck dat i ain’t no covid soldier

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COVID-19

The weight you gain during the first month of COVID-19

After stepping off the scale, I immediately went for a walk to burn off this COVID-19

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COVID-20

The virus that will scare the world in 2084. It is very dangerous as it gives you severe constipation, but when you’re least expecting it it shoots out like Usain Bolt as a fetus.

Charles: Oh My God! I think that guy has COVID-20.
Guy with COVID-20: *boom*
Charles: REEEEEEEEEEE

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