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irish kegels

The act of an Irishman going out on the lash at the local pub only to realize (after too many cups of the pure) he locked himself out of his dwelling, his primary means of communication ascended to the pearly gates without so much as a farewell or Slán out of courtesy, and he has a horribly urgent need to piss but isn’t smart enough to return back to the pub. The closest petrol station open at this hour is over a kilometer away from your pub and apartment.

The objective of the exercise is to walk to the station, find where they keep the jacks politely ask the lad to charge your phone, then text your fookin roommate to let you in, then walk back. Makes sure if you’re too plastered, avoid the Garda Síochánaat all costs, or you fail.

The result of repeated practice of this exercise will culminate into strong Irish Balls and an erection so thick, not even the donkey cocks of the Ethiopians can ever hope to please your lass better than yours.

Seamus: Look at that buffoon, poor sod’s locked himself out.

Padraíg: Aye and he’s doing him some Irish kegels there now as well. I see piss dripping! Two shillings say he doesn’t make it to the toilet.

Seamus: Begorrah and yer justified, Pat, but may he have the Almighty’s favour.

by WoodyPooShoes September 4, 2019

4👍 33👎


Irish tiger

1. What you call someone when they talk during the middle of your backswing.
2. When you apply sunscreen but neglect portions of your legs, resulting in red and white stripes.

Having an Irish tiger in your group announces to everyone that you guys are just there to have a good time, not to play golf.

by Learjet7 July 17, 2019

1👍 4👎


Irish

The slang word for finding a girl who has been given, often times strategically, the date rape drug, taking her home, and proceeding to rape her or try to, while the guy has full knowledge she is drugged up.

The men who do this are often times from Lewistown, MT

Dude, you can't Irish her, her moms here

by cheandy November 17, 2010

9👍 1014👎


Irish roofie

Giving someone pints of Guinness and shots of Jameson whiskey until they black out or pass out

Guy 1 - Dang, she doesn't look too good

Guy 2 - I think someone gave her an Irish roofie

by stikshift March 17, 2011

6👍 60👎


Irish Stomp

the result of a barfight, the victor (intoxicated and wearing workboots) places his opponent face down and stomps the back of his neck.

see also, Irish curb stomp

"We went over to J.P. Cunninghams and Irish stomped that hot chicks boyfriend because he kept giving us dirty looks every time we drove by."

by shamroxxxx July 28, 2008

6👍 59👎


Irish Weekend

When people from Philly and the surrounding areas come to North Wildwood to drink too much, have sex in ridiculous places (Like a port-a-john) and buy stupid shit they will never use and don't remember buying, also a good time to party naked. A weekend where performing Irish yoga is appropriate and never frowned upon. Also the unofficial end of the summer and a very swell time to meet some of Cape May County NJ Finest. Usually followed by one of the largest call out sick Mondays in the tri-state area...

Cindy:"Hey Jackie this is a nice shirt where did you get it"
Jackie: "Dumb-ass you bought it yesterday when you were drinking"

Toni: "Why are you naked"
Brendan: "Why am I naked?"

Toni: "Typical friday night of Irish Weekend for you"

by 106 Crew February 17, 2011

19👍 244👎


irish warrior

when a guy pulls out and cums on a girls stomach and then she slaps him in the face with a fist full of his own jizz

Mike: "Yo, dude how was your night last night?"
Larry: "it was great until siobhan gave me an irish warrior"

by loveshack99 February 22, 2007

19👍 245👎