I had to beat them to death with their own shoes

Phrase proclaimed after breaking into a candy store at the edge of town, wrestling the Bengal Tiger they have for a guard dog, and beating the shopkeeper and his son to death with their boots.

We had to find 1000 brown M&M's to fill a brandy glass or Ozzy wasn't to go on stage that night!

46👍 13👎

I reject your reality and substitute my own.

A phrase used by a person who likes to eat shit, to some extent knows that eating shit is bad for them, but doesn't acknowledge that fact and therefore dismiss it.

It can be seen as a modern analogy to Plato's cave.

Example (à la Patrick's wallet meme):

PC user: You know that the baseline Mac Pro costs 5 times as much money than a similarly-spec'd windows based machine, right?

Apple user: Yup.

PC user: And you know that you can custom build your own PC, right?

Apple user: Yup.

PC user: And even get a similar Mac Pro computer case?

Apple user: Yup.

PC user: And configure it to run Mac OS?

Apple user: Yup.

PC user: Then why did you buy the Mac Pro?!?!??

Apple user: Cus I reject your reality and substitute my own.

PC user: *facepalm*

91👍 36👎

owned bitch what now ice

When teh rising sun owned his team mate.

*phew* *phew* *phew* HEADSHOT...OWNED BITCH WHAT NOW ICE?

12👍 167👎

i reject your reality and substitute it with my own

a one liner comeback that basically means that you're right and the other person is wrong. the 'realities' being the varying opinions in the argument/conversation

i reject your reality and substitute it with my own (i refuse to accept that you are right so i will change your point to mine)

teacher: i told you yesterday what the homework was. why isnt it done
student: you didnt tell me, therefore i do not know
teacher: why has everyone else done it then?
student: i reject your reality and substitute it with my own ;)
teacher: /mindfuck

64👍 34👎

i would rather eat my own toe

A very good phrase to use when you dont want to do something

Person one: Hey will you go out with me?

Person two: Ummm well to be quite honest with you i would rather eat my own toe!

13👍 6👎

Bruce you still own me 16 dollars

Originally Created and posted by the YouTuber
Eyezayar "Bruce you still own me 16 dollars" is a meme that has seemingly popped up out of nowhere during 2021.

Superman slowly descends
Superman: Bruce you still own me 16 dollars
The Camera Cuts Too batman
Batman: Fuck off

look at my own arse when I shit

When you are that busy, that you don't even have time to look down when you are having a shit because you are too focused on something, you have to take it into the bathroom with you and use the toilet as a temporary office
Extreme measures involve having to wipe without even checking the state of the tissue before flushing it.

'I had that many emails coming through that I had to reply to, I didn't even have time to look at my own arse when I shit.'