wank spoon

An oddly shaped spoon, usually used for masturbating.

"Oh god, I've got morning wood. Better get out the old wank spoon," muttered Jimmy.

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Wooden spoon

A person can be referred to as a "wooden spoon" when he or she makes it their mission to stir shit left, right and center, usually by spreading lies and false rumours about others.

John: Hey, you seem to be quite upset. What's going on?
Jane: I'm furious. My sister keeps telling lies about me and my boyfriend won't even talk to me.
John: Nah, don't worry about her. She's just a wooden spoon. She'll get what's coming for her when people realise the truth.

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Dirty Spoon

When spooning in bed with your partner (usually wife) shits the bed all over your crotch.

"mike it was awful.." "what?" "last night...it turned into a dirty spoon and, well, yeah." "shit dude..." "IT WAS EVERYWHERE!"

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Golden Spooned

Passing ice cream through kissing from one mouth to another. When the ice cream is passed along its melty and would resemble soft serve ice cream.. Only dirty or cheap people think that when someone asks to 'have a taste' means backwashing their ice cream.

"I kissed her and she fucking golden spooned her ice cream!!"

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Spooned Up

To mess up a task or process

Nick spooned up this program because he was trying to be so smart.

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Cold Spoon

Noun, a method of torture in which a metal spoon is extracted from liquid nitrogen after 5 minutes of cooling and is inserted violently into the torturee's anus.

He wouldn't talk until we gave him ye ol' Cold spoon

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General Spoon

A Editor for UD

Search Author General Spoon to see anything he writes

By General Spoon (byline)

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