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Fatty Taint Syndrome, or FTS, is an age related condition which causes the taint to become chaffed and irritated due to physical exertion. FTS shouldn’t be confused with Drooping Balls Syndrome, or DPS, which is caused from the gravitational effect on the scrotum and testicles of aging men, and results in painful episodes of sitting on one’s own balls.
My friend volunteered to referee some basketball games for the Special Olympics and had to be assisted to his car due to extreme pain in his taint. Upon close examination by his Fantasy Football team doctor from the League of Idiots, he was quickly diagnosed with Fatty Taint Syndrome. It sucks getting old with a fatty taint.
When a dude rubs his taint on a ladies hood.
Mark, whilst rubbing his taint all over Mary's hood, made her cry out repeatedly, "taint my hood."
When two people apply wax to their taiant's with a wax strip in-between creating an unbreakable bond then run in opposing directions.
Sean and James tried the Chinese taint trap for Sean's 40th Birthday. Some memories are best forgotten, this one will definitely leave a mark!
To scrape ones own taint with a "loofa" and or "exfoliating sponge" in anticiapation of a large tossed salad.
"I scraped my taint in a New York minute, upon hearing I obtained a date with Rhonda."
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A very complex move performed during intercourse between a couple. It is performed by a series of steps to insure maximum grabbage.
1. extend hand out forward, with palm facing upand all but the pointer and middle finger retracted.
2. with the pointer and middle finger, alternate between the two moving them back and forth, making sure you maintain friction between the two.
3. this MUST be done with a pumping motion of the arm, as if you are ringing a truck horn horizontally. (without this, the grab will be rendered entirely useless)
4. rinse and repeat
There are several variations on the original move, however the basic function remains the same. These variations include, but are not limited to:
The Detroit Glide
The Seven State Sweep
Fakey
The Original
Momma's Style
Feet-to-the-Face Style
and many more
Well-to-Do Gentleman- Where's my money ho?
Less-Than-Attractive Woman- Nigga-ass foo, I ain't got
shit.
Well-to-Do Gentleman- Well then i'm gon' have to give ya
Tha Taint Grabba
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When a girl is kicked in the vagina so many times it turns black and then it is penetrated with the penis
hey i gave that chick a tainted cameltoe last night , that bruised pussy is amazing
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You can preform this manuver when and only when, a male has pulled a stunt or prank so antagonising, you want him to feel the effect.
I wouldn't suggest doing this from behind! You could end up with your head up his ass insted of hitting the original targeted area. This is only when the male has gone to far and is in serious need of splitting nuggets.
First: You get a running start.
Second: Go for the summersalt roll. i.e. drop and roll it low (most people expect an upper hit to the face or chest in a forwarded momentum attack)
Third: Upper-cut the shit out of his balls of sarcasms (If you preform the manuver just right, he'll fall to his dominant side, either left/right). While he's going down, show him just what a good defensive tackle is made of and flip that fucker over your shoulder.
Fourth: And this is the most important part, While he's breathlessly trying to scream obsinity's at you, and or, askng you, "why the. . . did you do that?" (They all think there actions don't effect people when being obnoxious) Simply explain that, you were teaching him just how it fels for a woman to have such an oversized trying to be a douche shoved up her wazooaus and maybe, just maybe, he'll think twice before trying to ever punt at a knowledge+able woman!
<Guy stands to tell her what he thinks>
B: Hey, you know you're a...
<Before he gets to follow-up those character discriptions, he's already being given the buisness>
K: Oh sweety,. . . does that hurt? We call that the Taint Tackle! Utilised by the best.
B: Low blow!
K: Deservant!
B: <Takes his left foot and *wham,* right to her box>
K: <feels that one, rolling to her side>
Awww, what thaaa, why man? Whyyyyyyyy?
B: Now, was that a good idea?
K: Bwahahahah <*laughing*> I don't know! Was it good for you?
B: <*mild chuckles*> Hurts like hell!
K: You're telling me something I already understand completely!
B: I, I, I ah I,.... sh*t!
K: I know man, me too!
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