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A parent that vaccinates their children or child in secret out of fear of being mocked and shamed by anti-vaxxers.
Did you hear about old Lou Silinavich, I heard he was a closet vaxxer and his kids are actually vaccinated. We shouldn’t let little Bobby Joe & Sue Ellen play with his kids any longer.
A fat person who claims they have medical problems preventing them from being a normal weight when they really just stuff their face.
Barbara has always been very overweight and she always claimed she was on a strict health-food diet plan, but one night I saw her at a buffet with a plate overflowing with hotdogs, sandwiches, fries, chocolate cake, and the list goes on. She's a closet hog.
Someone with the compulsive need to tug-it in the closet. Maybe due to a tramatic event of being walked in upon while giving his reliable pair the 1-2 polish and shine, (he wears sandals). There’s no shame, just more mess and not as much wiggle room as your traditional shower has to offer.
“I myself, am a closet tugger, the doors provide a nice secure barrier from the outside world during me time, and my girlfriends fuzzy scarves drape just low enough to tickle the tip.
“Dave is such a closet tugger! Look, he’s wearing crocs!”
The act of being kinky only when no one else is around.
Jessica Alba was a Closet-Kink because she kept her handcuffs in a lockbox under her bed.
Someone who outwardly pretends to be a Chad and a Alpha male hating on women's rights and those that respect wamen. Normally below 5'6, extremely hairy and have names that rhyme with Pevin.
Wow that Kevin guy is a real closet Beta Male. What a cuck.
When your homosexual baggage has exceeded the maximum "closet" storage capacity and begins to push you into coming out of the closet and you try to push it back into the closet.
Jimmy began prarie doggin' the closet when his mom found the ticket stubs to the Cher / Barbra Streisand concert on ice.
It's way harder for LGBT people to be on Zoom without outing themselves! Your mom is like in the room.
Can you jump on this Zoom call with us later to plan the party?
Nah, I'm in the Zoom Closet!