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A heroic viking who was on the verge of Godhood. Thor, fearing being usurped, erased his memories and cast him into the 21st century.
Confused and distraught, EBM had a troubled youth, before he found his calling and went to Nam' to kick Commie ass. He single-handedly pushing back the Tet Offensive and became basis for fictional heroes such as Rambo.
Alas, it was not meant to be, the hippies of the US united against him and he was forced to relinquish his gun and vow to never fight again.
For the next few decades the US continued to deteriorate around him. EBM, being a incarnation of justice, could stand this no longer. A worthless mortal, clearly unaware of the might of the EBM, crossed him, and was promptly obliterated by EBM.
EBM spared that mortal's life and walked off the bus, leaving his groceries behind. Why did he even need groceries? Not once in his life did he ever need to eat, nor has he ever felt thirst, pain or the urge to sleep. EBM has tried his entire life to be a normal man, but he was tired of that facade. He was determined to find out what he truly was. That day, he walked off the bus, a God.
EBM was not the only immortal on the scene. Freyja, watched the event unfold through the eyes of Amber Lamps. Outwardly, her expression never changed, projecting an aura of indifference. Inwardly however, she was aflutter with a myriad of thoughts and emotions. She could not discern what it all truly meant, but one thing was for certain; Thor's days were numbered.
The Epic Beard Man will rise again.
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A 4Chan Meme that never seems to win, and fails in epic proportions. You can always see EFG in the infamous Guy Fawkes mask.
FUCKING GET... Epic Fail Guy fails at failing!
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A large, 67-year-old, bearded white male with exceptional fighting skills. Seen on a viral YouTube video wearing a fanny pack, black baseball cap, and light blue t-shirt with "I AM A MOTHERFUCKER" printed on the back.
On February 16, 2010 a video was posted on YouTube showing a fight on a transit bus. The video begins with Epic Beard Man asking an unknown African American male (hereafter known as "Tyrone") to spit shine his shoes. Tyrone took offense to the request and a verbal argument ensued. After several moments of intense verbal sparring, Epic Beard Man moved to the front of the bus. The two men continued arguing and threatening each other, prompting Tyrone to leave his seat and approach Epic Beard Man. Several passengers were able to persuade Tyrone to avoid physical confrontation. As Tyrone returned to his seat, Epic Beard Man exclaimed, "I see tough guys like you and I slap the shit out of 'em!" This statement angered Tyrone who swiftly approached Epic Beard Man and attempted to strike him in the chest. Epic beard Man deflected the blow and delivered a powerful jab that stunned his attacker. Epic Beard Man then proceeded to unleash a barrage of punches upon Tyrone and left he bleeding and slumped against a seat. Epic Beard Man quickly exited the bus and Tyrone is seen bleeding profusely from the nose. When asked if he was alright, Tyrone simply said, "Bring da ambalamps."
It is believed that Epic Beard Man is the son of the Greek hero, Hercules.
"I see tough guys like you and I slap the shit out of 'em!" - Epic Beard Man
"VIETNAM!!! VIETNAM!! YEEEAAAARRGHHH!!!" - Epic Beard Man
"Epic Beard Man is my hero."
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you can get this by using stretch screen, having razer mouse, headset and keyboard, have heaps of friends to scream with when u do something cool. having this will enable superpowers, thus, getting epic pogchamp moments. (only epic gamers would have this)
you: (gets no kills with ur dva bomb) wow! epic gamer swag!
also you: (gets team kill when getting suit back)
everyone in discord: OMG POTG! SUCH EPIC GAMER SWAG!
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Carpet bombing your friends wife with your sticky nut juice.
I just pulled a epic gamer move on Derek's wife.
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An Epic High Five is simply the most amazing, spine-tingling, pants-moistening possible way to high five someone.
Performing an Epic High Five is not an easy task. To properly execute an EHF, certain conditions must be met.
1) Neither of the participants can be crippled, retarded, or jewish.
2) Both participants must be absolutely ripped. Tarnish on the pecs is completely unacceptable.
3) Females are meant for fucking and sandwich-making only. If you do not agree with the previous sentence, you are not eligible to perform an EHF.
Steps:
1) You and your partner must face eachother, about 100 feet away, shirtless. Weather does not matter. Try to find a secluded plateau or perhaps a field in the middle of some woods.
2) Spit into your dominant hand. This is the hand that will be performing the EHF.
3) Make eye contact with your partner. Give a slight head nod, as if notifying your partner that you're ready.
4) This is the most important step. Sprint towards your partner as fast as you can. While doing so, give a manly scream of power, kinda like Tarzan. When the time is right (You'll be able to feel it), jump straight upwards at a 90 degree angle. You and your partner should now be at arms' length of eachother. Continue screaming. Once you have achieved a minimum of 50 feet high, you and your partner will take turns punching eachother on the nipples. Turn around 180 degrees. If executed properly, lasers will shoot from your pupils and you and your partner will spell out the word "Champion" because Champion is a manly word. Face your partner again. Both of you should still be on a steady incline upwards. As your ascent slows to a stop, you will both freeze in midair, hands held high, dripping with sweat, mouths open wide because you're still screaming. The Gods will send down lightening to your fingertips, and increase your penis size by 25%. Then, you and your partner will fall, and you will punch the ground with your charged hand at the exact same time. This will cause a deadly earthquake, thereby opening a tunnel to the underworld. Demons will fly out of the opening, swarming you and your partner. When the heads are bitten off of each demon, a pillar of magma will shoot up from the hole, revealing Satan himself. He will look kinda like the evil genie from Aladdin, except his beard will be more full and pointy. You and your partner will knock two of Satan's teeth out, and with your bare hands, carve each into a canoe. Carrying the canoes over your shoulders, jog to Niagara Falls. Ride the canoes down the waterfall, side by side, and when you're halfway through, jump out. At this moment, time will come to a crawl. You and your partner will now collide hands. The blast will blow you about 5 miles high. Land successfully.
So far, the only pair to pull off an Epic High Five was George Foreman and Billy Mays.
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A gay slang for saying "I want to choke on your 12 inch cock so badly"
Hey, so why can't I send attachments to this discord?
epic embed fail
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