Random
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Random
A sex act where a woman spreads powder sugar and strawberry syrup in her vulva, while multiple partners chow down her box.
I got home from the movies with my wife and the babysitter had 6 of her friends giving her a santa fe funnel cake.
88👍 24👎
a school in Ingham full of Fucking rich Italians and pedophilic teachers with a stick up their arse. go to church and beg for forgiveness motherfuckers.
The boys cant shut the fuck up about their motorbikes and all the girls have pictures of their cowboy hats and boots so they can prove that they "work" on the farm.
They go to fucking church and pray to jesus then go date their cousin.
They're all related and date each other cause they all came from the same 3 fucking oldies 200 years ago
Gilroy Boy 1: My crf250f would thrash your yz250f because my bike has a better graphics kit
Gilroy Boy 2: I make better tiktok edits of my bike and my wheelies, so I am better cunt.
Gilroy Girl 1 in the distance listening: He is so hot but he is my ex boyfriend and my cousin
Gilroy Girl 2 in the distance listening: He is also my ex boyfriend and my cousin
Gilroy Girl 3 in the distance listening: He is also my ex boyfriend and my cousin
Gilroy Girl 4 in the distance listening: He is also my ex boyfriend and my cousin
Gilroy Girl 5 in the distance listening: He is everyone's ex boyfriend we have all dated each other here at Gilroy Santa Maria College
10👍 1👎
Long Beach, CA.
The cheapest way we could afford a house by the beach was to move to Poor man's Santa Monica.
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A white-ass Boyfriend That has a girlfriend that forces him to be vegan
One of my friends is a green tea Santa Claus
Preferably done around Christmas time. You go out and find a virgin, pop her cherry, and then paint your sack with her blood.
Hey Tom, this chick let me do Santa's Big Red Sack with her last night. It was awesome.
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He is the most awesome penguin ever. Ziffle is not just any penguin. He is a secret spy sent by an agency to help keep an eye on boys and girls expecting a Christmas Eve visit from Santa Claus. Ziffle needs to know just one thing? Which children in the world are being naughty and which are being nice.
Ziffle is no elf. Armed with a cell phone with a direct line to Santa, he does not need a train, plane, or even wings to deliver his message. Ziffle can just text a name! But all the boys and girls know that if their mom or dad has to tell them twice, Ziffle has another secret spy device that allows Santa to see the entire human race from the comfort of his big chair at the North Pole.
In this enchanting holiday tale, a secret penguin spy partners with Santa to ensure that children around the world learn that it is always better to be nice than naughty!
Santa's Secret Penguin Spy is a bad bad a** like 007 style.
Hit him up at zifflebooks.com peace
A religion that meets on Thursdays.
~Church Rules~
You have to have a cat to be a member of this church.
For communion there's eggnog and Christmas cookies.
The Twilight books (by Stephenie Meyer)are the Holy Books.
You will be burnt at the stake if you own a
dog or anything besides cats.
You MUST own a Dane Cook shirt.
Sarah: Do you own a dog?
Random person: Yea, why?
Sarah: It's going to hell along with the birds and the scorpions.
Random person: Umm...OKAY
Sarah: Merry Christmas from The United Holy Church of Santa!!!! *twitch twitch*
Random persom: What the @%^# *walks away wondering if she has tourettes or something*
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