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Random
gay people having children.
"Myah and Jelena have two children" they are a same-sex family.
11👍 8👎
Being a female in favor of circumcision or thinking intact penises are dirty. Obviously hypocritical, since vulvas and vaginas smell a lot stronger.
From the show: I am so circumcising my son. I don't want anyone calling him a shar pei.
Girl 1: My four-year-old host brother from Spain was circumcised.
Girl 2: Why wait so long?
Someone who actually knows what the fuck he or she is talking about: Why do it at all?
Anyone who has Sex and the City Syndrome is someone I won't waste my time with.
66👍 72👎
When a women gets into a hot tub and the man joins and they have sex. You mostly do it without condoms.After the sex you lick the penis and vagina. It is like normal sex where you will have a child in a couple of months.
Selena Gomez:'' Let's go do hot tub sex instead of normal sex."
Stephen Curry: OK, just let me set the temperature so it will be hot so our baby will be hot like me. And also I get to lick your vagina before you lick my penis."
52👍 57👎
During foreplay, the ear is lubricated with banana (previously peeled). Hence sex involving the ear and penis is vastly improved. The male then places his knob into the unsuspecting females ear, thrusting unforgivingly.
"I gave Allie banana ear sex violently whilst thinking of my mother."
22👍 19👎
Hot Mike-The act of crossing you legs indian style and being able to do a handstand at the same time while taking a shit and letting it roll down your back and balance the shit on ur neck
Instead of using the bathroom mike gave him self a hot mike to use his shit as entertainment
1657👍 2238👎
Any act resulting in orgasm between two straight men but involving no kissing, cuddling, or touching of balls.
"Hey Tad, Suzy blew me off again. Wanna come over for some straight dude sex?"
28👍 26👎
Scientific:
When a man inserts his penis into a woman's vagina, and begin coitus. Within minutes of insertion, both are tired and stop intercourse, realizing that rather then the intercourse taking hold it has slipped away.
Laymans Terms:
It is the opposite of sex that sticks. It doesn't take hold, or stay with you. Ergo, rather then the sex sticking, it doesn't stick.
Bob and Sally are having sex
Bob: "Oh Dear God! This sex isn't sticking"
Sally: "What do you mean its not sticking?"
Bob: "Its like sex that sticks, but it doesn't"
Sally: "Oh My, so thats Sex That Doesn't Stick."
89👍 105👎