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To perform some activity, typically IT related, where performing the activity gives the performer near sexual pleasure while doing it, yet nothing of any value or lasting value is produced. Mental masturbation is reasonably acceptable in the privacy of the performer's home, where their time is free (in money terms), but not on their employer's time. Mental masturbation can be the cause and reason for overly complicated and hard to understand IT solutions being implemented in one company, despite simpler, more commonly understood and tried and tested solutions to the same problem being used at a number of other companies in the same industry.
To workmate, on Monday morning, "Guess what I did over the weekend! I rewrote Linux in FORTAN! Cool huh! Next weekend I'm going to rewrite it in COBOL!"
Workmate, unimpressed, "That sounds like mental masturbation to me."
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Jake: Gee whiz! I hope Santa Claus comes tonight!
Andrew: Shut the fuck up. You know that he's as real as a female masturbating.
Jake: But female masturbation is a myth
Andrew: Exactly.
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the feeling your brain gets after getting in the frog position, and breathing in and out very deeply for 20 seconds, then standing up very quick and blowing on your thumb very hard.
yo my friend matt just did brain masturbation!
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The self-gratifying use of something that has been pillaged from another origin.
Especially a topic of conversation.
Family guy is a 'masturbating raven' of conversation - two people begin talking, one says something like:
"I hate raccoons."
The other says something like:
"Remember that Family Guy episode when..."
The other person ripostes with another episode...etc.
They didn't come up with the gags but they use, and talk of, them like they own them.
It destroys original conversation.
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The act of taking a shit, not wiping, then masturbating so it smells as though you're actually there in the pornographic movie.
Dude 1 : DUDE have you tried 3d Masturbation ?!
Dude 2 : DUDEEE YEAHHH SMELLED LIKE I WAS THERE !
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When you cook yourself an amazing culinary treat
Today I pleasured myself with a bit of culinary masturbation by baking myself a sinfully sweet chocolate cheesecake with a warm caramel drizzle.
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When you put your hands in the air and say "invisible masturbation" it is a common term as it means no one else can see you masturbating in public
"Hey he's having invisible masturbation!"
"WOW he's cool, he's having some invisible masturbation
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