20 Year Rule

An ominous trend in American history, wherein each president elected into office during a year divisible by 20, starting with Abraham Lincoln, has suffered an assassination attempt. Some have been successful, as with Lincoln and John F. Kennedy, though most have failed.

George W. Bush, who was elected in 2000, may or may not have invoked this rule already. On May 10, 2005, in Tbilisi, Georgia (the country, not the American state), a man named Vladimir Arutinian threw a live grenade at W. Due to the handkerchief tied around it, however, it failed to detonate. Alternatively, the rule could have been invoked years earlier by a pretzel.

"When is someone going to invoke the 20 Year Rule again? It's getting close to crunch time, you know."

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