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An Old Lady

An elderly lass, who by an odd occurrence swallowed a fly. Reasoning that it would be prudent to dispose of the fly as soon as possible, this old lady promptly swallowed a spider. However, she soon found that the arachnid would wriggle and tickle inside of her. Attempting to rid herself of it, the lady swallowed a bird. Presumably a smaller variety, as birds can grow to be quite large. Regardless, the fruitless adventure continued. The lady then swallowed a cat. The feral beast undoubtedly caused a great deal of discomfort on the way down, prompting the lady to take a drastic course of action. Desperate to rid herself of the newfound perplexity, she swallowed an entire cow. How in the world she managed to do this is beyond anyone's comprehension. It would appear very clear that the entirety of this problem could have been avoided if the madam had simply kept her mouth shut. Regardless, the unfortunate saga continued. The lady, obviously very near death, deemed it necessary to get rid of the cow. She swallowed a horse. The internal rupture of her organs became too great at this point, and the lady passed away in great agony.

Person 1: Hey, did you hear about what happened?
Person 2: No, what happened?
Person 1: An Old Lady died, dude.
Person 2: Oh shit! How?
Person 1: She swallowed a fly
Person 2: n00b

by Oswaldthefourth October 20, 2009

28๐Ÿ‘ 10๐Ÿ‘Ž


old lady

a slang term for girlfriend or someone you are interested in.

My old lady comin' over to give me a rub.

by cnlballa October 7, 2003

855๐Ÿ‘ 267๐Ÿ‘Ž


old lady

An old lady is slang for your gf or wife its normally someone you deeply care about mostly used in a construction or manly setting to seem more mocho or manly

My old lady and I went out for dinner last night
The old lady and I wen out all weekend and are hurting units today

by I<3kelly May 4, 2011

446๐Ÿ‘ 186๐Ÿ‘Ž


The Old Lady

A derogatory term to refer to one's own wife.

Bob: "Hey buddy, wanna go bowling tonight?"
Jim: "Sorry, I can't. I gotta spend the night with the old lady."
Bob: *makes whipped sound*

by Anonymous December 9, 2004

35๐Ÿ‘ 14๐Ÿ‘Ž


The Old Lady

An old lady that always calls the cops.

Stupid old lady.

by chode November 23, 2003

38๐Ÿ‘ 19๐Ÿ‘Ž


To the old lady

When you cheers with another member and say "to the old lady" both members are required to finish their drink

Prerson 1: "This keystone light is delicious!" *cheers* "to the old lady"
Person 2: *cheers* (internally "shit")
both members finish their beverages

by Lawn chair January 8, 2017

5๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


old lady

Slang for girlfriend

Fight with my old lady, she comin at unreal, hit the blunt and now shes animated." - Brotha Lynch Hung "One Mo Pound

by FlyAway July 23, 2011

123๐Ÿ‘ 133๐Ÿ‘Ž