ATS Syndrome

"Addicted to Socializing", a syndrome characterized by physical and psychological dependence on socializing. Those suffering with ATS symdrome often describe a compulsive urge to frequent bars, sleep in strange places, exchange phone numbers with strangers, utilize party tricks and costumes to gain attention, and hold hands with cab drivers. Use of the phrase "bad ideas make the best stories" is often used to rationalize behavior.

Socializing initially produces feelings of euphoria and dissassociation with reality, but in severe uncontrolled cases can result in a pissed off boss, excessive spending, weight gain, chronic fatigue, wearing of the same clothes for multiple days, loss of valuables, and general neglect of repsonsibilities.

The syndrome is frequently exacerbated by the consumption of alcohol and is often seen in conjuction with Beerexia.

First recognized by Dr. Cooke of Sheffield, UK (self- diagnosis).

I'm late for work, unshowered, and smelling like booze, because I have ATS Syndrome and I never made it home last night.

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Asian Tourist Syndrome (ATS)

Characterized by excessive phototaking, sun visors, and fob signs.

Dude, my parents gets Asian Tourist Syndrome (ATS) every time we go on vacation. My dad takes pictures like he's trying out for National Geographic, my mom has that sun visor on, and they both love throwing up them fob signs.

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ATS - AIM Tourette's Syndrome

A syndrome which causes one to type curse words uncontrollably during a perfectly normal AIM conversation.

Bob: hey sally wassup?

Sally: nm, just finished some hw. you?

Bob: fuck your mom bitch dirty whore cunt jerk off beef jerky!

Sally: OMG bob wtf?!?!?

Bob: sorry, I seem to be suffering from ATS - AIM Tourette's Syndrome today.

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