Akroktosis

Akroktosis is a disease that can lead to death if left untreated, although it is curable. The onset of Akroktosis can stem from several factors, but is not limited to: being bullied in Catholic school, receiving bad haircuts, not showering, over-using the gym, and not masturbating.

Akroktosis patients are typically virgins, sigma males, or just very down-bad in general. The first step to beating the disease is acceptance… and beating off. Patients who finally get laid and have a girlfriend (and therefore have a purpose in life) are considered cured from Akroktosis if they had it before.

Symptoms of Akroktosis include overbearing body odor, depression, the urge to referee soccer games all day, lack of a libido, using awkward forms of speech, strange body movements, repelling women at every given opportunity, being cheap, and turning your crush lesbian.

Do not hesitate to contact your doctor immediately if these symptoms describe you.

After receiving a woman’s touch for the first time, Richard realized there’s more purpose to life than abstinence, and his journey to beat Akroktosis had just begun.