Alabama Attack Squirrel

A unique Squirrel breed found in Athens, Alabama. From the genus Sciurus, sub-genus Paulkrus Deeznuts. An agile cage-dwelling rodent with a bushy tail, typically feeding on nuts, seeds, but primarily MethamphetamineS. It is believed the meth diet increases in the Squirrel‘s agility, stealth, and mammalian predator instinct. It is believed by the trainer aka “meth head” that the squirrel becomes something to fear.

Ronnie, release the Alabama Attack Squirrel!

OMG Mickey, the meth house was raided and the police seized your Alabama Attack Squirrel.

You don’t want me to get the Alabama Attack Squirrel 🐿 involved.