Alabama Lizard Taint

The coarse, irritated texture of the area between the anus and genitalia, resulting from frequently getting your ass eaten out by someone with really rough facial hair.

Tammy: Hey, why's Tanya walkin' so funny?
Alicia: Billy-bob gave her a bad case of Alabama Lizard Taint. She won't be able to sit right until he shaves that crotch grater.