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Arizona - It's the devil's playground
The devil wanted a place on earth, sort of a summer home, a place to spend his vacation, whenever he wanted to roam.
So he picked out Arizona, a place both wretched and rough, where the climate was to his liking, and the cowboys hardened and tough.
He dried up the lakes in the valley, then burned and scorched it all, He dried up the streams in the canyons, and ordered no rain to fall.
Then over this barren desert, he transplanted shrubs from Hell, the cactus thistle and prickly pear, the climate suited them well.
Now the home was much to his liking, but animal life he had none, so he created crawling creatures, that all mankind would shun.
First he made the rattlesnake, with its forked poisonous tongue, taught it to strike and rattle, and how to shallow its young.
Then he made scorpions and lizards, and the ugly old horned toad, he placed spiders of every description, under the rocks by the side of the road.
Then he ordered the sun to shine hotter, hotter and hotter still, until even the cactus wilted, and the old horned toads looked ill.
Then he gazed on his earthly kingdom, as any creator would, he chuckled a little, rolled up his sleeves, and admitted it was good.
T'was summer now and Satan, lay by a prickly pear to rest, the sweat rolled off his sweaty brow, so he took off his coat and vest.
"By golly", he finally panted, "I did my job to well, I'm going back to where I came from, Arizona is hotter than hell!"
It doesn't get any better than Arizona :).
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The only state where you can see asphalt in its liquid phase.
"Dude why'd you just jump back like that?"
"Sorry, I tried opening the car door. Gotta love Arizona."
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Ok I'll say my definition at the beginning was good but, I will also mention its history after Native and Colonial times and Mexico it's area today was formed in 1866 to be coming a a state in 1912. Tombstone proves AZ is southwest like. Weather isn't that bad. Yuma is actually bordered by Mexico to the southwest . Colorado is technically a border at the northeast corner.
Arizona kinda has a mountain half and a desert half. You'll know which ones. This just about terrain and not about the cities.
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A southwestern state in the United States known for being hotter than Satan's anus. 100 degrees or hotter is considered a "normal" temperature, and 70 degrees or cooler is considered a fall/winter temperature. We don't use daylight savings time here because f*ck sunlight. Personally I would not recommend that you touch any metal outside. Or concrete. Or rocks. Or anything in general. It never rains (unless it's monsoon season, where it might rain once or twice), and thus Death Valley exists. Surprisingly enough there is snow towards the northern part of the state but it never lasts long enough to make a proper snow fort. Halloween stinks because javelinas can and will eat your pumpkins. The state has a lot of people coming and going because they don't want to be here during the summer because it's hot, but they do want to be here during the winter because it's hot. In the summer children enjoy vacation without actually going outside. No matter what time of year it is you can get sunburns because screw you, that's why. The only natural disaster you really need to worry about is the dust storms, which are annoying as f*ck to clean out of your pool afterwards. Nothing particularly important happened here historically, but all you really need to know is that a bunch of natives used to live here and the white people came and did what they usually did to land that wasn't theirs: took it by force. Essentially the state of Arizona is hotter than hell and yet people still live here.
You can tell that we're in Arizona because it's 120 degrees outside.
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Southwestern USA state. It is the sixth largest and the 14th most populous of the 50 states. Population: 6,828,065 Its capital and largest city is Phoenix. It has borders with New Mexico (east), Utah (most its north), Nevada ( north and west mostly), California (west), and Mexico (south).
It was part of New Spain from until 1821 to becoming part of Mexico and admitted most of its origins of land to the US in 1848. The southernmost portion of the state was acquired in 1853 through the Gadsden Purchase. Arizona was recognized as a Confederate Territory on February 14, 1862. Pretty much after Civil War to its actual statehood time it was home to the stereotyping Wild Wild West with Cowboys of Arizona, Nevada, California, New Mexico and somewhat Utah and Colorado plus part of Texas. Arizona became a U.S. state on February 14, 1912. Arizona was the 48th state admitted to the U.S. and the last of the contiguous states to be admitted.
Southern Arizona is known for its desert climate. Northern Arizona features some mountain ranges, deep canyons, the Grand Canyon National Park and Historic US 66.
Home to Western/SW accents of course and friendly people. The three most common ancestries are Mexican, German and Irish. Lots of beautiful women all over state. There was a delicious Boston's Pizza restaurant in Tempe, now only one in Casa Grande and Tuscon. Also has In N Out Burger. Thanks Wikipedia, you helped a lot.
Arizona rocks!
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You know you live in Arizona when:
You buy salsa by the gallon.
All of your out-of-state friends start to visit after October but clear out come the end of April.
You think someone driving while wearing oven mitts is clever.
Most of the restaurants in your town have the first name "El" or "Los."
You think six tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful yard.
You notice your car overheating before you drive it.
Your house is made of stucco and has a red clay tile roof.
You can say Hohokam(?Hohokam (HO-ho-ko'm) and people don't think you're laughing funny.
You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.
You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt River.
You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.
You can say 120 degrees without fainting.
Every other vehicle is a 4x4.
You can be in the snow, and then drive for an hour and it will be more than 100 degrees.
Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer.
You have to go to a fake beach for some fake waves.
People break out coats when the temperature drops below 70.
You discover, in July, it only takes two fingers to drive your car.
The pool can be warmer than you are.
You can make sun tea instantly.
People will drive over 100 miles just to see snow.
You run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.
Most people will not drink tap water unless they are under dire conditions.
People with black cars or have black upholstery in their car are automatically assumed to be from out-of-state or nuts.
You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
You realize Valley Fever isn't a disco dance.
You can finish a Big Gulp in 10 minutes and go back for seconds.
The water from the cold water tap is the same temperature as the hot one.
You can (correctly) pronounce the words: "Saguaro(?Saguaro (suh-WA'R-o)
An arborescent cactus (Carnegiea gigantea)
"Tempe," "Gila Bend," "San Xavier," "Canyon de Chelly," "Mogollon Rim," "Cholla," and "Ajo."
It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is moving on the streets.
You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
Sunscreen is sold year round, kept at the front of the checkout counter, a formula less than 30 SPF is a joke, and you wear it just to go to the Circle K.
Some fool can market mini-misters for joggers and other fools will actually buy them.
Hot-air balloons can't go up, because the air outside is hotter than the air inside.
No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car.
You eat hot chilis to cool your mouth off.
You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.
Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
This place feels like Arizona
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A great state I already defined 2-3 times. I'm just saying it existed from 1866 on, with the name.
Arizona is awesome
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