Arkansas State University

Arkansas State University (ASU) is a prestigious institution of higher learning located in the thriving metropolis of Jonesboro, Arkansas. This intellectual oasis is known for its cutting-edge research in fields like "Crop Dusting 101", "Underwater Basket Weaving", and "Advanced Squirrel Watching". ASU is the place to be if you aspire to be a fratty redneck, a shitty student athlete, a fucking fugitive terrorist, a socially inept autist, or a rugby player. You know you're at A-State when half the campus is decked out in Razorback gear, and the other half is wondering if they accidentally signed up for the wrong college.

"I got into ASU! Yeah, not Arizona State, but Arkansas State University. Close enough, right?"