Arseholeum

Funded by the UK TV Licensing fee, a vast tomb where members of the long-suffering public may come to pay their disrespects at the passing of the nation's most irritating celebrities, dignitaries and politicians. Principally those who robbed us of so much quality primetime viewing over the years now have a place of final rest where they might be remembered for the slappers, bell-ends and twats many of them came to be during their squalid and worthless lifetimes.

The likes of Chris Evans, Sarah Ferguson and Gordon Brown must surely be knocking on the arseholeum door by now. They've all been staining our screens for far too long already.

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