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ask no questions hear no lies

a sarcastic way of saying,"just don't fucking ask."

how was ur date with Lisa?.......ask no questions hear no lies

by bajan_taliban October 1, 2007

44๐Ÿ‘ 33๐Ÿ‘Ž


ask no questions and you'll be told no lies

It is a quote by Charles Dickens that is used to reply to a question with an answer best kept untold.
The quote has been shortened to "ask no questions hear no lies" in modern use by people who do not know the origin of the quote.

Professor: How far along are you with that assignment, Peter?
Peter: Ask no questions and you'll be told no lies, Professor.
Professor: Ah, Charles Dickens. Alright then, we'll just forget about the assignment for now. I will not accept any work given to me after the hand-in date, remember that.

by stevie the illiterate March 16, 2017

21๐Ÿ‘ 5๐Ÿ‘Ž


Ask no questions hear no lies

A term used by someone with the intent to lie.

Guy: Have you cheated?

Girl: ask no questions hear no lies

Guy: wtf, so you have?

Girl: (says nothing)

Girl: I'm not even sorry

Guy: **heart breaks** again

by _The Secret_ March 25, 2020

6๐Ÿ‘ 28๐Ÿ‘Ž


asking the big questions

Someone who asks questions that are at a whole different level of understanding than the rest of the audience.

Sandy: Why does 1 + 1 = 2 Mr Teacher?
John: When did you decide you were going to teach 6 year olds what could barely pass as arithmetic instead of following your dreams of becoming an astronaut Mr teacher?
Mike: *nudging tony* John asking the big questions
*Tony nods in agreement*

by 1Head April 22, 2019


ask a stupid question day

a holiday which falls on the last skool day in September, usually September 30th
self-explanatory; a day that is celebrated by asking a lot of stupid questions, mainly to your teachers/professors
only funny if you get many people to participate, in which case it can be the most fun and looked-forward-to day of the year
it is perfectly placed, in that it is soon enough after summer that everyone is still sad that summer's over and could use some laughs, yet it is late enough that you have already gotten to know your teachers fairly well, and know the limits to how many stupid questions you can ask them and not get into trouble

Examples of questions that could be asked on ask a stupid question day:
Ms. Milio, if the moon exploded, what would happen to us?

Why is Hamlet so sad his father died, Ms. Farrell?

What's the square root of 4, Ms. Sirakos?

Ms. Intrieri, what would've happened if the Reformation had never happened, or if it had happened in Asia?

Mme. Bertacchi, how do you say "I'll stab you with a knife" in French?

by Flying Spaghetti Monster is my God September 26, 2005

66๐Ÿ‘ 28๐Ÿ‘Ž


can i ask you a question?

The most stupidest idiotic question you could ask someone, because you 1) Asked if you "can" when you just did, 2) because you just asked a question asking if you could ask a question & 3) cause you are stupid

Dude1: Can I ask you a question?

Dude2: Shut your face

by CA3B20A3G September 18, 2007

265๐Ÿ‘ 99๐Ÿ‘Ž


Shoot first ask questions later

Something to Live By? I think So, Many Dead rappers lived by this!

UMMMMMMMM...... I shot him now i will ask questions instead of asking and then shooting???

by Icdblc13 April 27, 2004

27๐Ÿ‘ 75๐Ÿ‘Ž