Asshole Meter

The asshole meter is a way that you can rate yourself to find out if you are a complete and utter asshole. The meter goes like this.

Level 1: Jerk, probably where most people fall on this list, they're generally nice people but at times can be a bit of a dickhead.

Level 2: Dick, this is the guy who you see calling girls "his bitches" and trying to get on every girl he sees.

Level 3: Douchebag, popped collar, hair gelled, sunglasses at night, you know the deal.

Level 4: Asshole, if you rate here, then you probably don't have many friends, you're an asshole all the time, you're that guy who scream at the drive through worker for ten minutes for forgetting the straw, or the guy who would literally steal candy from a baby.

Girl 1: I think I might like Joe.

Girl 2: Really he is such a douche on the asshole meter.

Girl 1: Really I only thought he was a dick?

Girl 2: Look at the collar! And it's ten o'clock at night, why the hell is he wearing sunglasses?