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Clothes, food/drinks, music, DVDs, books and/or other miscellaneous gear that is left behind for the taking after a friend or significant other unexpectedly disappears.
That's a cool bike! Where did you get it?
Oh, Zack left it at my house before he suddenly broke up with me.
Are you going to give it back?
No, I'm considering it Asshole Tax.
Hey! I like your hat!
Thanks! It was Gina's before she became a bat shit crazy bitch and stopped hanging out with me.
Oh sweet, so it's her Asshole Tax.
33👍 7👎
The art of boosting the price of a service because of how incompetent and thoughtless the customer was.
...Little shit asked me to go do a job at 8 PM! I told him no, and he said "How about tomorrow, after lunch?". I accepted, though I still put a fifty dollar Asshole Tax on it.
10👍 1👎
Asshole tax is charging someone extra purely because they’re personality sucks, and may have been rude, annoying, wasted your time, or just generally need to be fined for forcing others to endure them.
This woman was such a pain in the ass to deal with so I charged her some asshole tax and told her the price was $75 instead of $40. Bam bitches.
The tax you have to pay in today's society in order to not have to continue dealing with assholes. This includes money loaned and not repaid, items and money stolen, refunds that people want for bogus reasons, or anything else of value that you'd rather lose than continue dealing with the people who have it.
Note: Asshole tax collectors are professional assholes and have to deal with themselves on a daily basis, but YOU don't.
"That guy owes me forty bucks and i know I won't ever get it, but every time I see him he tells me he will give it to me next time. Rather than believing him, I've written it off as Asshole Tax, that way I won't depend on ever seeing that money again."
"She wants her money back, but she ate most of her food, and the manager wants me to give her a refund"
"He stole my bag and I know I won't ever see him again, rather than cry and pout about it,, I've consideed it asshole tax."
3👍 2👎
A tax that is charged to a "friend" who is an asshole for one reason or another (such as cock blocking, never having money for bills, is literally an ass to you, or other such reason that will piss the Taxer off) or for debts owed. Asshole tax does not have to be of monetary value but needs only to be something that is worth something to you or the asshole.
For instance, you may take an ex-roomates computer as asshole tax since that asshole never paid bills, ate all the food, and banged your girlfriend.
If the taxee wishes to get the taxed item back, i.e. he wants his computer back, he may trade the taxer something of equal or greater value(value being worth something to you e.g. you don't need his computer, but you do need an iPod. You trade his iPod for his computer. The computer being worth more money, but the iPod being worth more to you.)
Be warned that severe assholes may try to recover taxed property through legal means, but don't worry, the law is on your side because everyone hates asshole.
Example 1
Tom: "Dude isn't that Steve's computer?"
Bob: "Yeah, but I consider it asshole tax"
Example 2
Steve: "Dude isn't that my computer?"
Bob: "Yeah, but I consider it asshole tax"
Steve: "Snap... I'll trade you my iPod for it."
Bob: "I could use an iPod... Deal."
Example 3
Steve: "Hey Bob, you going to the store?"
Bob: "Yeah"
Steve: "Here is a twenty... get me a drink and a pack of smokes."
*20 minutes later*
Bob: "Here is your drink and smokes."
Steve: "What about my change?"
Bob: "Asshole tax."
Steve: "Snap."
3👍 10👎
In the service industry: An employee or owner of a business uses all their discretionary power against a customer who is consistently an asshole. This is a hidden tax since people in service are rarely allowed to call assholes on their behavior.
Alice: You could have totally given that guy a discount.
Bob: He always ask for a discount.
Alice: Oh, well. I guess he just paid the asshole tax.
Carol: Why didn't you hold it for me.
Dave: I was too busy cleaning up after you.
Eve: Why won't you take that guys return.
Frank: He returns something every week, he needs to pay the asshole tax.
18👍 3👎
a tax added to one's subtotal of a bill, who generally acts like an asshole. this usually works because most assholes aren't willing to do their math.
"That guy was pissing me off, so I charged him asshole tax."
53👍 20👎