Backyard spactard

A full-blown, several-sandwiches-short-of-a-picnic specialist whose mental retardation is so debilitatingly extreme that they are forced to live in the backyard. This living arrangement is usually necessitated by the high risk of poisoning through licking the toxic cleaning products off the windows, should said backyard spactard remain indoors.

Liverpool put in a good showing in the Champion's League Final the other night. If it hadn't been for Karius goalkeeping like a backyard spactard, they might have won the game. I knew he'd be shit the day he signed for the club using his favourite crayon..

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