Ballyhoo! Kleenex

After falling asleep with a woman (or man) you aren't proud you just had sex with, you wake and go in the bathroom and poop. You do not wipe your ass. When you get back to the bed, you wipe your dirty ass on the sheets and then roll her (him) over into it. Suggest you leave before morning. The Ballyhoo! Kleenex.

"Dude, are you even aware of the hideousness that took you home last night?"
"I realized it after a short nap when I woke to some beer shits. I left her a Ballyhoo! Kleenex though."

"Man, I had too much to drink last night and had some squirtage. I accidentally left that girl a Ballyhoo! Kleenex."