What ignorant people call Barnes & Noble.
Illiterate Person: "Hey, you wanna go to Barnes & Nobles later?"
Educated Person: "Why would you want to go there? It's obvious you can't read because you called it Barnes & Nobles."
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Having to desperately take a shit and the only place around to use a bathroom is Barnes & Noble. Having to take a shit so bad you can't think straight.
Nathan Barnes & Nobled after eating too many burgers from A&W.
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An American bookseller, with the largest number of retail outlets in the United States. Founded in New York City in 1886 as Arthur Hinds & Company. Renamed to Hinds & Noble when Gilbert Clifford Noble was made a partner, then renamed to Barnes & Noble after Noble purchased the company and hired William Barnes. Now operates over 600 retail stores nationwide and is a Mecca for book lovers like me. Many have cafΓ©s that serve Starbucks coffee.
Regular personβs ideal date: dinner and a movie.
Nerdβs ideal date: Barnes & Noble and reading a book mutually picked.
When you and a friend buy a 12 pack of cheap beer like natty ice or bush light and sneak it into Barnes and Noble. You then drink the beer with a friend and buy a book before you leave.
Me and my bro just completed the first Barnes & Noble Challenge
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1: Satan's asshole, usually only to employees.
2: A place for insane individuals with foot fetishes and drooling problems to congregate.
3: A store that quickly turns genuinely nice employees into miserable bastards due to horrible pay, horrible management, and that god awful "do you have a membership?" question.
4: Evidently a library since, more often than not, customers don't actually BUY books.
"Excuse me, how do I borrow books?"
"You don't. This is Barnes and Noble. Go to the library down the block."
"Where's your manager?"
"That's a good question. I haven't seen them myself for the past 4 hours."
"I really like feet. What would I have to do to get you to show me your feet??!"
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Process to obtain revenge on someone who has damaged your life in a major way. First visit barns and noble's magazine section remove as many of the loose subscription cards as you can carry. Fill in the targets name address ect..rubber stamp is best. Check the boxes for 2 year subscription and bill me. Drop them in the post office drive up drop box. Do this for 100 cards once a week until you feel better. For extra credit look for depends adult diaper ads they have free samples coupons send as many of these as possible. Good luck
That bitch filled a false police report , so i gave her. The Barns and Noble.
A soul-sucking corporate bookstore. Employees are nice, to an extent, but the higher you go in the company, the less smiles.
Employees must:
1. Always bug you to buy a Member Discount Card.
2. Walk you to every book.
They have a large selection of books, but only on certain subjects. Their website has a far better range of books. Their largest competetor is Borders. CD's and DVD's are overpriced.
Excuse me, can you help me find a book. It was on that table and it had a blue cover.
'Do you have a Barnes and Noble Member Card?'
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