Two lesbians rub their vaginas together until the rash is unbearable, when one gives up the other sticks a dildo up it until the other faints.
"ooo, it's too much"
"okay, open up"
"no please, for the love of god"
"i don't care"
"i hate pussy battles"
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Pirate 1: Argh! I'm going to stab you!
Pirate 2: Not with my....battle pussy drops pants to reveal pristine pussy
Pirate 1: Oh wow.... walks the plank
6 months later
under the sea
Kraken and Pirate 2 engaging in tentacle sex.