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1. The child that a closeted gay male concieves in an attempt to quiet gay rumors or to prove manhood. Usually, this child is concieved in late adolescent period or during college years.
2. Child concieved with a homosexual male's beard...usually for reasons stated above
P1: I didn't know Oscar had a child
P2: Yeah, but that was before he came out, it's just his beard baby
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Babies with beards. Once there was a secret orphanage of bearded babies in Holland, and the Brothers Grimm based "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves" on that, which Disney consequentially stole from them, after which some cartoon porno (not hentai, necessarily) stole that version and made it pervy.
Girls can have the deformity too.
And the worst part of it is: You can't shave it off. EVER.
Drunk 17 year old pregnant: Is it a boy?
Doctor: It's a girl.
Drunker 35 year old husband/father: It's a midgetman!
Dr: No, it's a Beard Baby.
D17YPG (nuzzling her baby's chin to her cheek): mmmmmm... Fuzzy...
BEARD BABIES CAN ALSO BE USED TO CATAPAULT AT FRENCHMEN AND BEANERS.
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An ideology founded by a small-brained, self-important, extinction-doomed gender, promoting the growth of facial hair, esp. in relation to gestation.
T-Rex: Sure, women get to feel the miracle of life growing inside them and the joy of birth or of laying eggs or WHATEVER, but we get to engineer hairy faces AT OUR LEISURE.
Utahraptor: I don't get why you're casting this in terms of a gender battle, but yeah- I'm with beards over babies too!
When a man attempts to grow a beard but his facial hair is so thin and inconsistent, it's as if it were a baby beard
When I told my man I liked facial hair, he decided to let it grow but all I see is a baby beard!
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When you shoot your babies all on her chin and it looks like a beard made out of your nut
Director: yea that's it now finish the scene off with giving her a baby beard
Male actor: *turns to director as actress gets on her knees* a what?
Actress: don't think too hard about it just aim for my chin