Bethesda Mom

Young, white moms who live near and in Bethesda, Maryland. They are often seen getting Panera, froyo, wearing Lululemon, taking their kids to soccer practice, and in their Peloton and Pilates classes. On Thanksgiving, they make their kids wake up at an ungodly hour to run a Turkey Trot. They most likely have color treated hair, usually bleach blonde, and get keratin treatments multiple times a year. Their houses are probably painted white, and have strictly neutral tones as wall colors. If they have any pets, they’ll have a white crusty dog named Lola or Coco. Some can be sweet, but will probably gossip in their “Moms of Bethesda” Facebook group about you.

Me: Bro I was working at Panera the other day and the most stereotypical Bethesda Mom came in

Bro: Yo really? Did she order unsweetened iced tea and everything?

Me: Yea, and then I saw her posting it on Facebook with #blessed next to it 💀
Bro: That was definitely a Bethesda Mom