Better alternative

How about stop trying to use authority you don't have to compel people (from the shadows) to do things they don't want to do?

Hym "How bout dat for a better alternative, Dr. RAPE FARM?"

Dr. Rape Farm "Well, I need to control what my children are going to think and do in the future and for me to do that I need to have control of everyone around me and LYING BLATANTLY allows me to do that with greater ease. So I need you to shut the hell up so I can distill these retards into an abstract phantom and trick them into locking themselves into a state of perpetual solipsism so they don't interfere with MY LIFE and what I want to do."