Blando Calrissian

Any one of the majority of people in the world that have no distinguishing characteristics or traits that make them interesting or compelling. Most Blando Calrissians have little to no life ambition outside of a dull, steady job, do not understand most forms of humor apart from The Blue Collar Comedy Tour, Dane Cook, or that guy with the fucking puppets, and do not enjoy thinking about anything characterized as “deep.” A common test to identify Blando Calrissians consists of the query, “What kind of music do you like?” to which they respond, “Oh, I like everything.” They often express and/or act upon the urge to “get married and have kids” around 23 years of age. May also be referred to as “Blandos.”

Friend 1: How was Joe’s party last weekend?

Friend 2: Eh, pretty lame. Most of his friends are Blando Calrissians, so they just sat around talking about their favorite movies, like Anchorman and 28 Weeks Later. I tried to chat up one cute girl, but when I found out she wanted to be a dental hygienist and loved Nicholas Sparks novels, I totally bailed.

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