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Blizzard CM

"Community Manager"
Basically a glorified Forum Moderator that is connected to Blizzard Developers via a long leash. Like one would find on a dog. A dog however, is slightly more helpful when it comes to tech support and customer service.

Blizzard CM's are known for several things:

1. Canned PR responses.
2. Crappy Logic.
3. Unprofessional, biased moderation of behavior.
4. Razor-thin egos.
5. Followed by a legion of fanbois screaming as if the Beatles have regrouped and decided to devote the bulk of their time together sitting at computers, shepherding vast sums of the biggest morons the gaming community has ever seen, around a poorly maintained and operated message board for a company that makes more money than Europe (the continent, not the band).

Cm's will request positive feedback, in a thread full of complaints posted just inches above fifteen to twenty threads full of said requested feedback. Those positive examples will go forever untouched by said CM. Pointing this fact out, will also be ignored.

If you piss off a CM personally, they will decide to actually give a damn about insults -as a forum rule- long enough to ban you or close your thread. You can tell people to drop dead on every page leading up to that point but, don't insult a CM, their feelings actually matter.

Often times, they'll give a "reason" such as: "This topic is old, if you need to talk about it, post a new thread."
If that logic didn't give you an immediate aneurysm, you may have been born on Krypton.

CM's technical know-how is highly suspect, like the "surgical skills" of a guy working out of his sister's apartment in the Bronx or a Best Buy Geek Squad employee.
All problems are solved by:
1. Deleting your WTF folder. (Called so do the reaction most feel when told that, doing so will solve a problem caused by AT&T's network hub.)
2. Power Cycle your modem.
3. Ping your connection and post it.
If these don't work, try doing them again.
If that doesn't work..try doing them again.

Blizzard CM's are witty too. They like to waste their allotted three valuable posts per annual quarter, by being productive and clever in threads like:
~ If You Could Verbally Suck Off Drysc in a Thread, Which Will Immediately Dissolve into Staggeringly Unfunny Random Crap, Forum Fads and Ancient Memes, Would You Please do it Here. ~

Blizzard Cm's have decided long ago that the Offical Blizzard boards were going to suck and blow harder than Tera Patrick caught in a hurricane.
the place is a joke. Trolls, fanbois and idiots dominate and the CM's don't care.

Any criticism leveled at a CM is immediately cut off at the source and one is directed to wowcmfeedback@blizzard.com.
This is without a doubt the biggest load of transparent crap a CM can drop in a thread.
Simply put anyone who believs this email is going to be read by anyone important is an idiot. The CM's are so bad and so unprofessional that the influx of complaints must be beyond belief and they haven't flushed these turds yet. Your email gets sent to a special inbox where the CM's can have a good chuckle before continuing being impotent figure heads who wait for a random fanboy to make up an excuse for Blizzard's regular bullshit, simply quote it and say, "Yeah, what this guy said!"

At this point CM's post once a week just see the inevitable wave of sycophantic tools show up and agree with them for simply having blue font. It gets bad to the point of self parody. Never mind, that a CM is Blizzard employee who is too inept to actually do anything of value, like a hype man for a video game developer.

Blizzard CM means "community manager" but the only thing these inept fucksticks "manage" to do with any competence, is fuck the place up with their apathetic bullshit.

by Lig Na Baste April 22, 2009

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